Reading Time: 3 minutes By: Lisa Cavallaro – Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the…
bullying
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Podcast: Trying to Fix the Bully Is Not the Way to Help Our Children Being Bullied
by Confluenceby ConfluenceReading Time: 2 minutes Often the approach to dealing with bullying is to try to stop the bully. However, that approach often leaves children less empowered and still at risk of being bullied again and again.
What if we took our focus off the bully and instead taught our children to be bully-proof? By empowering our children to be confident we can teach them skills that last a lifetime. Bully-proofing our children can be done. The skills are teachable.
Reading Time: 3 minutes So, if you’re ever thinking this summer that you really “should” do more to keep your kids busy, you might want to think again.
Encourage them to come up with their own ideas. If possible, you can provide the support when they ask for rides, money, supervision and supplies.
They may balk at first, thinking it’s easier for Mom to do things for them. In the short run, that may be true. But by putting the ball in their court, you’re conveying your faith in their ability to create their own good time. You’re letting them know that you believe they can do it. And they can.
You’re also taking the pressure off yourself which is a good thing in itself.
Reading Time: 3 minutes As I tell kids, having a civil conversation with someone who’s trying to dominate you is a smart idea. Keep in mind you’ll have to be the one who initiates the conversation and you’ll also have to be the one who keeps it civil. So, before you actually have the conversation, practice it in your mind a few times until you’re comfortable with it and feel really good about having it.
Taking this step will do wonders for anyone who’s confidence has been shaken by a power-hungry aggressor because initiating the talk and taking the lead in the conversation is breaking the old pattern and starting a new one… where the aggressor is not in charge.
Reading Time: 2 minutes Today I watched yet another video of a child sharing her experiences with bullying as she asked adults to stop it from ever happening again.
Through tears and sniffles, this beautiful child managed to read her sad letter to a room full of school administrators and parents. She was definitely heard by these caring adults and no doubt these people WILL do something.
The question is, will whatever they do actually make this little girl’s life better?
As difficult as it was for that little girl to ask for change, asking someone else to make the change seems easier than making the change yourself.
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Mean People Suck, But Do We Really Need to Keep Talking About Bullies?
by Confluenceby ConfluenceReading Time: 3 minutes A bully can’t bully if he doesn’t have someone to push around. It’s a matter of supply and demand.
As smart phones hit the market, the demand for flip phones dramatically dwindled. The same decline can happen with bullying.
There’s so much bullying in our faces because we’re making the bully dance be all about the bullies… when that is not the case.
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What To Do When Your Parenting Views Are Different From Your Friends’
by Confluenceby ConfluenceReading Time: 3 minutes As we know, reality can change. What we believe today is what influences our future reality and what we encourage kids to believe today will influence their future reality.
Reminding ourselves every day what we want to believe about kids and then looking for reasons to believe it is the best way I know of to maintain focus when the chatter around us gets loud.
Look at it this way… even if the adults don’t agree, it’s really the kids whose buy-in matters most anyway.
Reading Time: 3 minutes We need to let kids know they have a right to stand up and speak up. They’re entitled to express their viewpoints and they’re entitled to practice expressing them.
Knowing when it’s the right time to speak up and when it’s best to remain silent is a muscle worth exercising. But permanently shutting down is never ever recommended.
As parents and teachers, it’s our job to help kids feel more comfortable communicating with the challenging people in their lives. It begins with modeling the skills we want them to cultivate and continues with conversations when specific instances arise in their lives.
Reading Time: 2 minutes Encourage kids to see what’s perfect about them right now as they are this very minute. Point out what makes them unique and special. Talk about their gifts and talents. Help them discover what they’re passionate about and help them find ways to use their gifts to explore and pursue their passion.
Reading Time: 3 minutes Let’s face it… no one deserves to be disrespected by another person. But unfortunately, it does happen and when it does, we need to be smart. If we’re not, there’s a good chance we’ll forever be the perfect targets of more bully behavior.