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infidelity

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Can Our Relationship Survive an Affair?

Reading Time: 2 minutes You can’t be in control of your own power or make empowered choices when your perceived happiness is solely dependent on the survival of a marriage or another person. I don’t know what a good enough reason to save a marriage after an affair is. All of that is intensely personal. I do know that doing it for the kids will fail and doing it because your happiness depends on it will not lead to being happy.

If you are making a decision like this in your life get honest with yourself. If you believe that if you have to save this relationship or you will be alone forever because there’s no one else or because no one else will love you, stop dead in your tracks. I’m not saying you have to end it. I am saying you need to get straight with yourself first before you proceed. Being alone is far better than being miserable together. Self-love and self-respect have to come before reconciliation and healing.

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An Open Letter to the Wife of My Lover

Reading Time: 3 minutes Yes, I have an advantage. He never sees me without my makeup because we have to make plans days in advance to see each other. I don’t have to ask him to take the garbage out because we don’t share a household. I do all of that myself. We don’t fight about money, because we don’t share any. The time I share with him is uncomplicated and unfettered by the daily complications of life because we don’t really share one. Occasionally, we share a bed, but sharing a bed is not the same.

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