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By: Jacqueline Gates – Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know.

So you want to lose weight? Your house can help with that.

I think I must’ve lost + regained the same weight a hundred times over. Every year on January 1st, I’d write “lose 20lbs” as the very first New Year’s Resolution. I have journals to prove it and it was so depressing to look over the previous year’s goals + realize that I was writing down the same thing over + over again.

Not anymore.

Last year, I finally shed 15 of those pounds and I know the last 5 won’t be hanging around for long.

And the only thing different between what I did last year + what I’ve done in years past, is that this time, I GOT MY HOUSE ON BOARD.

This time I used my own Intentional Nesting philosophy + aimed it like a laser at my weight loss goals

I began living-as-if I was already at my dream weight. More importantly, I systematically and intentionally began to create a home (nest) that reflected the Who-I-Was-Becoming (aka SkinnyHealthyMe) and cleared away all traces of Who-I-Was.

See, here’s the key.

For as long as I was living as if I were on a diet (ie BEing someone who wanted to lose weight), I’d always be on a diet. I’d always have weight to lose.

Because that’s who I’m BEing. And my house – like the mirror that it is – reflected that.


I couldn’t BE someone who had lost that weight while I was still BEing a person who was trying to lose it.

In coaching circles, we call this identity shifting.

Magic happens when you begin BEing someone who’s already got what you’re after.
Magic happens faster when your home reflects that, even and especially before you actually do.

“You are a product of your environment.

So choose the environment that will best develop you toward your objective.

Analyze your life in terms of its environment.

Are the things around you helping you toward success –
or are they holding you back?”   ~ W. Clement Stone


So if you have poundage to shed, isn’t it time you got your house on board?



– You totally knew we were gonna start here, right?

First thing … Un-Clutter Your Counters

If you’ve been with me for more than 10 minutes, you know that one of the first precepts of Intentional Nesting is decluttering.

  • Pssst .. a gentle love-note here. What we generally define as “clutter” is the stuff lying round your house that you don’t use, love, or know what to do with. Oftentimes, clutter is a symptom of a need to protect ourselves. So is body fat, according to Louise Hay. Shed the one and, in my experience, the other almost always follows.

I think you would agree that there is not a single vision-board anywhere that has pictures of kitchens with counters awash in only-used-once appliances and un-helpful foods.

So clear ’em … but not all at once, or you’ll end up overwhelmed + crabby.

  • Choose one counter … or even one section of a counter … and clear everything off.
    Wipe it clean with oodles of intention-setting that you’re wiping your own inner-slate clean at the same time.
  • Then put back only what you use regularly (as in, daily).
  • Release or relocate everything else.
  • Put the food-stuff away.
  • Relish + celebrate all that gorgeous expansiveness.

When you get home from the grocery store, put your purchases away.

Leaving that bag of chips (yea, I know, you bought them for your kids) in plain sight just makes it even easier to pop in a mindless-mouthful while you’re doing other stuff.

Out of sight = out of mouth. Your hips will thank you.

Consider putting out things you actually do want to eat. A small bowl of fruit looks really pretty + it’s one time where it’s totally ok to eat the décor.

Talking of décor, if you happen to have a cookbook from some epically healthy chef or one that supports the way-of-eating that you’re aiming to embrace, display it. My library copy of Vegan Cooking For Carnivores lived on my counter until the library demanded it back. It was such a powerful talisman for our highly successful shift to a plant-based diet, that I immediately replaced it with a copy of my own!

Kitchen (1)


Fridge support

Scoot the kids’ artwork over a bit to make room for a pic of your goal.
Or a motivational message that rings for you. Whatever makes you pause for a nanosecond as you open that door.

Dedicate a shelf to your Becoming. Prep a few easy-to-grab snacks for yourself and keep them front and center.

Being able to scan a fridge shelf, knowing that you can eat anything on it, is a fantabulous way to zap the FOMOs.



Uplevel Your Dining

Those gorgeous dishes that you only use for ‘company’? Yea, time to dust them off for daily use. YOU deserve to be feted like a guest of honor at every.single.meal, so let’s get them out of the cabinet + on to the table.

Use your cloth napkins. Use your glassware. Play something restaurant-esque in the background.

Dim your lighting … amazingly, a lower light helps you eat slower (ie more mindfully) and so you’re way more likely to stop when you’re full. AND of course, we goddesses always look luscious by candlelight.

Not only will you uplevel the whole experience but it’s likely that the family will be more inclined to hang around to chat a bit longer too.

And btw, this ‘fine dining at home’ idea is the perfect way to uplevel your overall abundance-awareness so your wallet can follow suit. #doublebonus

Downsize Your China

Another waistline-loving benefit of the abovementioned up-levelled dinner experience is that Granny’s dinner plate is probably quite a bit smaller than a modern one. Smaller plates encourage smaller portions without the usual feeling of deprivation. In fact, there was a study that showed a calorie-intake-slashing of 22% when participants ate off salad-sized plates.

Alternatively, use a plate with a pattern around the rim + put food only inside the border. Jedi mind trick to make the plate seem smaller and the portion therefore bigger.

Repaint Your Walls

Ok, this is a tad extreme, but have you ever wonder why fast-food joints are always decked out in ‘hot’ hues like red + yellow + orange? Yea, those are the colors that have been proven to stimulate appetite. Sneaky, right?

When I moved intDiningroomo my ‘mansion’, one of the very first things I did was change out the color of the dining room from crimson to a chic flat grey. Very sophisticated and only cost me $30.




You don’t use your dining room?

If your family style is more toward trays-on-knees, all the abovementioned plate-tricks will still work their magic. As would either cleaning or replacing trays that have seen a few too many spills.

For your tray, may I suggest a pretty mat or doily and a little post-it note to remind you to thank your gorgeous body for all the work she does on your behalf?

Food as art

I’m not one for having paintings of food on the walls, so I was rather amazed to read that according to research from the behavioral sciences division of the US Army, pictures of healthy food in a dining area can influence people to eat more fruit and veggies. #whodathunkit #worthatry

Also, when I was going veggie, I had a pic of a cute piglet on my fridge. It helped to make the thought of bacon-less enticing.




Experts say that you can burn an average of 150 calories in just a half-hour of loving-the-one-you’re-with, so turning your bedroom into a boudoir is not only good for the relationship, but it can be counted as a weight-loss aid too. Yay!

Sexy romps aside, you also need to get enough sleep!

Brigham Young researchers found that a higher quality of sleep equated to a lower body fat, and vice versa. Sleep more to lose more. Sounds like a diet made in heaven to me!

Drapes thMaster bedat block out the light, and soothing sounds filling the air will help you drop off quicker. The best quality sheets you can afford will help you snooze deeper.

Don’t skimp here! You spend (or should spend) about a third of your life in bed. Amp up the abundance factor + watch the weight fall off.


Put your workout clothes right next to your bed. Just getting your trainers on starts the momentum toward going for a walk.

And of course I don’t need to tell you to get that laundry off your treadmill, right? Use it or get rid of it. Both options will help you feel better.


TV Time

Come football season, my tv time more than triples and with that, triples the snacking. Not helpful when the weather also conspires to keep me housebound and sedentary.

I’m a huge (ok, fanatical) advocate of eating only at the table and I find that helps hugely in keeping eating a mindful and deliberate activity.

Making it ‘harder’ (ie more effort) to snack is also helpful. Scooch the coffee table further away so that the munchies aren’t within arm’s reach.

Also, expanding on the up-levelled-china idea, I find that filling a pretty bowl with chips contains my portion, means I don’t suddenly notice that the bag is inexplicably empty before half-time.


One last hint:


Please don’t make your whole house smell of food!

There are candles out there with fragrances that will easily trigger you to Krispy Kreme extremes.
Why do that to yourself?

Fill your nest with clean, fresh aromas that energize and uplift you.

Crisp clean scents … think spa- and seaside-type fragrances … are known to decrease appetite.

A note from the wise … blow your candles out at least a half hour before dinner, unless you particularly want your casserole to smell of lavender and sage.

chocolate-chip-cookie-melts (2)


You’ll hear me say this over and over again … if your home makes you feel supported + nourished + optimistic, it’s an ally.

But if it feels draining or frustrating or overwhelming, it’s a detraction and distraction.

When your home reflects Who-You’re-Becoming, rather than who you were, you will see results faster than you ever dreamed possible.


Jacqueline Gates has mastered the art of applying theatrical skills to anchor and amplify the manifesting technique known as acting-as-if.  Because when you begin LIVING-as-if you already are who you secretly dream of becoming, it won’t stay a secret very long.



Confluence Daily is the one place where everything comes together. The one-stop for daily news for women.

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