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Category: Relate

Inquiring Minds Want to Know: Why Do Some People Like to Refer to their Sexual Partners as “Daddy”?

Reading Time: 4 minutesPeople use “daddy” as a term of endearment or arousal for various reasons that have to do with their attitudes around provider roles, masculinity and tenderness of men or masculine folks. People also use daddy as a way of experimenting in power roles and dynamics that are shaped by society and our histories. Additionally, it is important to acknowledge that some folks utilize the word as a means to rework their relationships after trauma. The choice to use “daddy” is a complex one for some, and a very popular one; I’ve never received so much feedback as when I solicited this answer to my readers.

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Seven Day Checklist to Reclaiming Your Sanity

Reading Time: 5 minutesPoetry is powerful medicine. I know some people who might say poetry isn’t their jam. However, I’d say it’s because they haven’t found the right poet.

Some of the greatest thinkers of our time and in history of express(ed) themselves in poetry. Poets have a way of seeing life, love, struggle, and triumph as art. The right poet can shift the way you see things through prose without effort.

The very act of memorizing something requires attention and intention. It requires a special kind of focus that changes your brain. When you memorize something it’s an act of choice and that changes you and your perspective in ways that aren’t obvious but are very powerful. That thing becomes a part of you in a very magical way.

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Charlotte School Shooting: Another Example of Kids Screaming for Emotional Tools

Reading Time: 3 minutesWe can talk all we want about the different forms of bullying. We can gather statistics on how many kids are being bullied. We can teach kids why and how they can report bullying. We can teach kids all about kindness, respect and inclusion. And none of it will work. We know this because we’ve been doing all of these and still, kids are being bullied and anxiety is on the rise.

Kids desperately need to learn how to regulate their emotions. They need to understand what they’re feeling. They need to recognize why they’re feeling it. Most importantly, they need a healthy strategy for managing how they feel, which is essentially the energy they bring to our world.

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Podcast: Trying to Fix the Bully Is Not the Way to Help Our Children Being Bullied

Reading Time: 2 minutesOften the approach to dealing with bullying is to try to stop the bully. However, that approach often leaves children less empowered and still at risk of being bullied again and again. 

What if we took our focus off the bully and instead taught our children to be bully-proof? By empowering our children to be confident we can teach them skills that last a lifetime. Bully-proofing our children can be done. The skills are teachable. 

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A Self-love Story About a Woman, a Man, and a French Bulldog Named August

Reading Time: 7 minutesA woman who doesn’t love herself is always a great risk of falling for a man who will take advantage of her inability to value herself. That kind of vulnerability is dangerous in the wrong hands. The risk is real and the consequences are steep. The bottom line is, if you don’t feel valuable, and completely worthy of only good things, you shouldn’t be dating at all. Being alone while you’re figuring yourself out is way better than being with an abuser, no matter how long it takes to get emotionally healthy.

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A Mother’s Guide to Raising Sexually Responsible Sons

Reading Time: 6 minutesThe majority of sex education is focused at girls, specifically driving in the point that girls have a lot more to lose because of the risk of pregnancy. This, leaving an unspoken message that boys are mostly unaffected by unplanned pregnancy — which unfortunately is true more often than it should be, but not always. Yeah, we’re teaching safe sex. Boys hear the condom message loud and clear, and studies show many of them are still ignoring it.

Traditionally, women have left the heavy lifting of sex-education for boys to men. Fathers handle it and maybe a coach chimes in. Then a lot of the rest of it is left to peers. However, now, for reasons that are obvious women are wondering how to help their boys. No one wants to raise an “accidental rapist” – and that’s a pretty low bar. 

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6 Ways To Find Yourself On A Spiritual Path

Reading Time: 5 minutesI’m in the spiritually based personal development business. I think a lot of people could transform their lives by taking a deeper dive into learning about spirituality. Reading the books, buying the stuff, spending time in the sphere of a teacher can be life transforming. However, the key is to find yourself in the teachings vs. trying to recreate yourself to be a knock off of a master.

When it comes to the depths of my soul, no one can be my guru but me.

The same rules apply to you. You are your own best guru. No one else can feel the stir of your heart. You aren’t going to find your fire in the pages of a book. It’s your life work to examine the DNA of your soul, then figure out who to sooth it and grow it on your unique journey to your specific brand of enlightenment.

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Anti-Bullying is Anti-Effective

Reading Time: 3 minutesJust because something doesn’t work out the way we want it to, we don’t just give up. Only wimps give up. We just need to try harder, right? 

Harder… no.

Smarter… yes.

Putting an end to bullying is something we’ve been working on for decades. Most schools offer programs teaching kids how to be kind, respectful and inclusive; and parents are talking up these very topics at home too.

Still, our kids are surrounded by bully behavior on a daily basis.

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My Boyfriend Cheated On Me and I’m More Curious than Angry

Reading Time: 4 minutesIf a long-term relationship and marriage is a goal of yours, I suggest you invest in the quality of raw, sometimes uncomfortable discussion about your desires: do you like flirting with your barista? Do you and he want to send sexy pics to other consenting people or couples? Does he and you have freedom to look at sexually charged material on your own time, without having to report back to the other? My boyfriend and I feel comfortable bringing up our monogamish leanings; it helps us keep realistic about our very real desires, even if we don’t wish to act on them.

“Forever” is a lot longer than most people realize, especially when the new-relationship excitement is so strong; it seems like it will never fade. It’s time to reframe how we talk about our desires – and remember that being married by thirty could mean fifty years of time with your companion of choice.

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Podcast: An Honest Conversation About Screens and Our Children

Reading Time: 2 minutesToday’s episode will explore the issue of parenting in the digital age and how to get out of the cycle of using screen time as reward and punishment. Not all screen time is equal. We will look at the good and the bad and how we can best balance being a consumer with being a creator. Parents will be asked to reflect on their own screen habits before looking at a framework for house rules regarding technology. The goal is to humanize ourselves with our children, avoid power struggles and deepen our connection to one another as all of us learn how to co-exist with technology in the healthiest way. 

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A Blessing in the Kavanaugh Turmoil: Let’s Talk to Our Kids

Reading Time: 3 minutesKids know that sexual assault is about sex and that it involves the body. But what kids also need to know is that at its core, sexual assault is a violent form of aggression and is disrespectful of another person’s boundaries. Kids need us to talk to them about aggression, boundaries and respect for others. But that’s not enough. 

What kids desperately need is to witness healthy examples of adults showing respect for the boundaries of others–including not using aggression to get what we want.

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