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Category: Relate

Am I Being Abused

Reading Time: 3 minutes Most people think relationships are all about how much you love each other. That’s not true. It might seem counter-intuitive at first glance, but relationships all start with how much you love yourself.

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Parenting Podcast: The Influence Pyramid, Helping Things Go Right

Reading Time: 2 minutes Today’s episode comes from a concept from The Arbinger Institute – The Influence Pyramid. This tool has many applications for parents. It is a new way of thinking about communicating and connecting. It is an approach for helping things go right, rather than just dealing with things that go wrong. Using this approach is healthy modeling for our kids. Intentionally working with this technique and teaching it to our children has the potential to not only strengthen the parent/child relationship, but to strengthen all of our relationships.

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6 Red Flag Signs Someone Might Be an Undateable

Reading Time: 4 minutes When you know what the endgame is and you’re keeping your eye on that ball, chances are pretty high the field will start weeding itself out.

However, there are still some pretty obvious, yet easily missed red flags you should look for. Any one of these might not be a big deal – addiction being the exception. That’s always a big deal. However, two or more of these should catch your attention and give you plenty of reasons to put the breaks on.

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Parenting Podcast: The School of Opportunity

Reading Time: 2 minutes In the digital age, we are in a state of constant engagement with information. The news that is reported and repeated is often bad and scary. Many kids are not optimistic about their future. What can parents do to cultivate a type of hope that leads to action? How do we introduce our children to the voices and stories that aren’t being told in the news? Chuck Hagele, director of Project Patch, talks about a program he created with this very mission. It is called The School of Opportunity.

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Open Letter to: Single men who are dating in the 21st century and who consider themselves “good guys”:

Reading Time: 4 minutes Single men who are dating in the 21st century and who consider themselves “good guys”:

You’re gonna have to take extra care of the women you’re interested in or are dating these days.

You’re gonna have to be “extra” for us. You’re gonna have to work harder than you think you should have to because your brothers are out here beating us down.

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How to Leverage the Freedom of Being Disliked

Reading Time: 3 minutes Once you accept the fact that you aren’t liked, the stress of that struggle instantly subsides. You quit fighting that gut sick feeling that you might get it wrong. That feeling is exhausting. When you’ve settled into acceptance, that stress and struggle dissolve.

Then and only then are you able to stop editing yourself to make yourself more appealing or to meet someone else’s expectations. You can speak your mind without fear of consequence. You can show up as you one-hundred percent of the time. You can look yourself in the mirror and recognize your own face with crystalline clarity that can only be had when you’re standing alone.

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We Need to Talk

Reading Time: 3 minutes The truth is we rarely know the whole story, and we won’t ever know it if we can’t shut-up and listen – without judging.

Breathe. Be curious. Assume positive intent. Give your conversational partner the benefit of the doubt. You don’t have to agree with what they’re saying. We all get to choose our own viewpoints, opinions, and beliefs.

Agreement is not required, but understanding is crucial. Make the intention to gain understanding instead of worrying about your response, giving advice, or attempting to “fix” anything. Sometimes the most powerful results come about because the person who is speaking suddenly feels seen and heard.

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Stop asking me ‘what about men?’

Reading Time: 7 minutes When I write a tweet about women being murdered or raped, I didn’t forget men. I didn’t forget they could be murdered or raped. I didn’t accidentally miss them off my tweet. I simply CHOSE to talk about the experiences of females. It is not helpful, or clever, or promoting ‘equality’ to write to a researcher specialising in women’s studies and tell her in three paragraphs why she should focus on men.

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Reading Time: 2 minutes Today, I’m sitting down with a room full of diverse men to talk about the challenges of masculinity. The reason I wanted to facilitate this discussion is to bring to light some of the points and perspectives on what it means to be a man in modern day, told by men. Everyone, regardless of how they present or identify, should have a vested interest in loosening the tight grip of patriarchal masculinity because it not only hurts women and LGBTQ people, but it hurts men, too.

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