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Category: Relate

Online dating, game theory, and meeting the love of your life

Reading Time: 7 minutesOnline dating is nothing more than a massive and complex focus machine. 
If you get yourself set up online, and you use that massive pool of data to focus on what you want, the algorithms within the game and in “reality” as a larger universe will respond by delivering more of that. 

Conversely, the opposite is true. If you get distracted by all the fray in the online dating environment, the algorithms won’t work for you – well they will work, but just not in the way you want them to. You can tell what you’re focusing on based on the results you’re getting online and in the real world.

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The Suicide Hour

Reading Time: 4 minutesI could go on forever about how much I probably have already screwed up.  The list just keeps getting longer every day. But I know that this circular logic about how I need more and am not doing enough, isn’t productive, or even helpful.  The truth is, we all need more. The bar is too high and the refreshments are few and far between. Parenting is the best of times and the worst of times.

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3 Lies Women Need to Quit Telling Themselves

Reading Time: 3 minutesWhat’s true is pretty simple.

Does this thought work?
Does it get me the kind of results I want in my life?
Does this thought hold water for the long haul?

If it doesn’t, I have to admit to myself that thought is a lie. Lies don’t yield great results no matter how long I’m lying to myself.

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My boyfriend’s best friend just started dating a woman who openly calls herself a swinger – It makes me nervous

Reading Time: 2 minutesNon-monogamous people who engage ethically and with good intentions tend to have better communication skills regarding sex and consent, and if you’d like to learn more about how people manage these interactions, I’d read “The Ethical Slut” 3rd edition by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton, or More Than Two by Rickert and Veaux. Opening Up by Tristan Taormino is also a great book.

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A Relationship Will Only Make You More of What You Were When You Were Single

Reading Time: 4 minutesWe get the relationships we’re aligned with, period. So, if you don’t love yourself and your life you will attract a relationship that amplifies both of those things. If you aren’t where you want to be, you aren’t going to find someone else to get you there. You’ll find someone who keeps you stuck, or worse, moving backwards further into a bad vibration. 

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Spiritual Skills to Master That Go Way Beyond “Love and Light”

Reading Time: 4 minutesIf you want to experience spirituality on a more meaningful level, stop looking away – and stop staring. Make a practice of looking at everyone, especially anyone who is different than you. Study people to find the things you have in common and the things that make them human. Practice relating to the unrelatable as if they remind you of someone you deeply love. 

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Reading Time: 5 minutesIn my consulting work, I frequently help teams try to cultivate connection, understanding and shared goals. As part of the process, I set up exercises in which team members are given opportunities to self-disclose—on topics ranging from their preferred work styles to family background—and everyone chooses how much they are willing to share. Although the exercises are artificial, they work. I consistently hear from the team members how they help them to better understand their colleagues, feel closer to one another, and have better working relationships.

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Your Feelings Are a Miracle

Reading Time: 3 minutesWhen we look at our feelings with no judgment, but with the knowledge that those undesirable feelings can be the source of very important information, our feelings then have the space (non-resistance) to flow, shift, change and evolve into desirable feelings.

Whatever you are feeling today. It’s a miracle.

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Four Ways to Stay in Your Own Lane

Reading Time: 3 minutesThe riskiest thing you can do with your self-esteem is let someone else’s opinion of you matter. That is outsourcing your self-esteem, and even if you do it a little bit, over time, that can cost you a lot. 

People and their opinions are fickle. They change and blow with the wind and much like the wind, you have no control over them. 

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