Select Page

Category: Weekly

My Boyfriend Cheated On Me and I’m More Curious than Angry

Reading Time: 4 minutesIf a long-term relationship and marriage is a goal of yours, I suggest you invest in the quality of raw, sometimes uncomfortable discussion about your desires: do you like flirting with your barista? Do you and he want to send sexy pics to other consenting people or couples? Does he and you have freedom to look at sexually charged material on your own time, without having to report back to the other? My boyfriend and I feel comfortable bringing up our monogamish leanings; it helps us keep realistic about our very real desires, even if we don’t wish to act on them.

“Forever” is a lot longer than most people realize, especially when the new-relationship excitement is so strong; it seems like it will never fade. It’s time to reframe how we talk about our desires – and remember that being married by thirty could mean fifty years of time with your companion of choice.

Read More

I think my husband has a porn addiction. He thinks I’m crazy.

Reading Time: 2 minutesAny time spent doing one activity that diverts focus and time away from loved ones can be to the detriment of the relationships with those loved ones. Be it a video game addiction or porn watching. The fact that you’re feeling left in the dust is the problem, and when you talk to him about those feelings of your own inadequacy I’d like you to frame it around that, and not the porn itself. It’s great that he’s not lying about watching porn in the first place, but I understand why you might miss him. (Unless what he’s watching is leading to harmful behaviors, but that doesn’t sound like the case.)

Read More

My Partner Wants Me To Be More Vocal In Bed. As a Woman Who Usually Talks A Lot I’m Surprised this Makes me Uncomfortable.

Reading Time: 2 minutes It doesn’t sound silly at all – even experienced sex workers sometimes feel awkward when vocalizing sexy-speak that’s been requested from men.  Partner sex shouldn’t always feel awkward, but new things or kinky requests can be stomach-turning if you aren’t sure how to address them. It’s up to you to determine if you’d like to dabble in dirty talk for your partner’s pleasure, because it’s healthy to make efforts for your partner, as long as it doesn’t cause you serious discomfort. I appreciate him asking for what he likes, now it’s your opportunity to be advantageous

Read More

Our Pre-teen Daughter Stumbled Upon Our Porn

Reading Time: 2 minutesTell your child that men and women have sex in the ways that they decide feels good to them, for some people that might mean with their penises, mouths, hands, feet, stomach rolls, armpits : there is no “proper” way to have sex. Secondly, as a kid who was (kind of) caught digging through their parents’ porn, I Do suggest buying her a kid-friendly book such as Sex Is a Funny Word and ask her if she knows what pornography is.  Tell your child that porn is something that humans have made for thousands of years, and that one study suggests up to 85% of women in America report having watched it at some point in their lives.

Read More

Am I Doing Orgasms Wrong?

Reading Time: 2 minutesPlenty of articles will tell you that women (and all people) experience orgasm differently; some people cry after or feel conflicted during – sensations of sexual pleasure can bring up feelings around shame or trauma relating to sexuality. Ask yourself if you have any negative experiences in your personal sexual history that might be making you feel odd about experiencing orgasm or genital pleasure.

Read More

Pansexuality: My Daughter Just Came Out But She’s Not Exactly Gay

Reading Time: 2 minutesMore people who had previously self-labeled as bisexual are now updating that description to pansexual, after they realized that people don’t often fall into these rigid categories of gender-identity expression. Gender is influenced by chromosomes, organs, hormones, and socialization. Transgender people and those that we refer to as “gender nonconforming” are just that; real people who categorically tend to get left out of our conversations about sex and culture when we only talk in typical terms “man” and “woman”. Try to not get hung up on the words, it just means that your daughter likes people for who they are.

Read More

How to Care for Yourself if You Are Susceptible to Urinary Tract Infections & Yeast Infection

Reading Time: 3 minutesI recommend these holistic methods for dealing with bacterial vaginosis, yeasties, or general chafing from clothes or sex or hot weather: I use tea tree oil suppositories by the half or the full dose when I begin to feel a little ‘sting’ down there due to vaginal imbalance. I also just discovered MomotaroApotheca’s vaginal wellness salve and it’s already saved my vulva from some irritation a couple of times.

Read More

Slutwalk – The March You Should Take Your Teenagers To.

Reading Time: 3 minutesAt a time when our reproductive freedoms are facing constant attacks, as our Obama-era workplace protections are being overturned, as queerness and transphobia becomes more visible and attacked by this administration and it’s supporters, consensual sexual expression should be celebrated and supported in any way possible. Come for the gathering of like-minded people of all ages, sizes, shapes, and abilities – some people bring their kids, and some folks bring their grandparents. Join us for resources and literature that can help us stay connected to advocacy groups that are sex-positive and radically progressive.

Read More

So… What About Sex Clubs???

Reading Time: 2 minutesDetermine what “wild night” means to you and him: Do you want to watch on your first visit and maybe play with other people engaging with others on a later visit? What is he interested in? Does he want to dance with other people, flirt with other people? I first went with a particular boyfriend and we discovered quickly that I was comfortable and he was not.

Read More