There is Alchemy in the Details
By: Lisa M. Hayes – Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know.
She has two children under four-years-old. One of them finally graduated to big girl panties last week. So, at least there’s that. She works probably 50 hours a week. In her spare time, she manages a very active non-profit. Her husband is a really good guy, but he’s gone a lot of the time. So, she’s flying solo frequently.
I know this woman personally, and when I contemplate what she’s juggling on a regular basis, I need a nap. A mere mortal would be wiped out doing about half of what she does. However, this woman is not mortal. I’m not sure exactly what she is, but she’s clearly not human.
She has it together. The wheels do not come off the bus. And I know her well enough to know it’s not a facade. It isn’t shiny on the outside and falling apart on the inside. I’m certain it’s not always easy. In fact, at times, it’s hard. However, her life works, and she always manages to look like someone who at least showered before she walked out the door in the morning.
In case you’re wondering how she does it, you’re not alone. I wondered too. So, I asked her, and she answered the question without skipping a beat.
“I keep fresh flowers in my bedroom and dining room. I never miss my evening bath. I always wear a sexy bra. I don’t leave home without my best perfume.”
You might have been expecting her to say she had a nanny, housekeeper, and personal assistant, I will tell you, although she can afford them, she doesn’t have anyone on staff. And in case you think her answer is bullshit, I can assure you; it’s not.
This is a woman who’s juggling a lot of essentials. Her life is packed full of things that must get done. When you’ve got too many things going on too many days in a row that are mission critical, it’s easy to start feeling overwhelmed.
However, this brilliant woman figured out the secret to life.
The non-essentials are what makes life worth living.
Doing the non-essential provides fuel. Doing things that are important to you, but not necessary makes doing the critical tasks feel less like work.
Without the beauty of the non-essential life starts to look and feel very black and white. It loses its juiciness, and without that juice, you lose inspiration, and without inspiration, energy starts running low fast.
Let’s face it, no matter how hard I try, I can’t make the case that taking a bath at night is absolutely necessary. It’s nice, but it’s not necessary.
However, if you reverse engineer it, it’s pretty easy to see how important it is. Taking that bath is relaxing. It leaves you feeling more sensual. Taking that bath might make it easier to get in “the mood”. However, it most certainly will make it easier to sleep.
So, the woman who took that bath sleeps well. She wakes up more refreshed, literally and figuratively. She starts her day feeling more grounded because she slept easily and peacefully.
Her morning feels more relaxed, and she gets off to a better start every day.
Essential? Not really.
I can make the same case for everything on her list from the sexy bra to the fresh flowers.
There is alchemy in details.
You can make magic in your life if you work the details with devotion. You can put mix the small ingredients in your life to put a spell on yourself. In fact, you’re doing that all day long anyway. Why not make the magic you want?
It’s one part self-care and one part self-indulgence. However, there’s nothing indulgent about it when spoiling yourself makes you more efficient.
Life is one of those things that goes one of two ways. Either it’s happening to you, or you’re creating it. Creating a life you love is rarely about the big things. We think it’s going to be. However, even if you get the big things, if you haven’t attended to the details, they will feel unsatisfying.
Yeah, the big promotion and the handsome husband are nice. However, you can build a beautiful life on the details now and that will make it easier to relax into creating the “bigger ticket” items on your list.
If you want more, you have to give yourself more.
You have to give yourself the life you want.
Details matter and you are the one in charge of your details.
So, when life is overwhelming, dig into the micro and create more beauty one detail at a time.
Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.
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