divorce – Confluence Daily

August 28, 2018 Confluence

How to Stay Married

Reading Time: 3 minutes If you are committed to staying married, and you are less happy than you want to be, that’s not normal and it’s not ok. The good news is it’s probably mendable because you can learn the skills it takes to be in a relationship. Sooner is better than later, because sometimes later is too late. Waiting too long might not mean divorce. There is a fate far, far worse than divorce. Waiting too long may mean spending the rest of your life in a soulless, loveless, lifeless marriage, and that is a recipe for slow, early death.

Relate

August 13, 2018 Confluence

Are You Staying for the Kids?

Reading Time: 2 minutes If you’re wondering how healthy your relationship is, ask yourself if you have the kind of life you want for your children when they’re grown? Would it be ok to get hit occasionally? Would a little bit of infidelity be alright for your little one? Is “not that bad” good enough for your children in their future marriage?

I doubt it. But if you’re living it, you are making it much more likely that’s exactly what will happen.

Children have x-ray vision. They see what’s going on behind closed doors. If you’re staying in a relationship for the kids, make it one worth modeling, or get out. Period.

Relate

June 18, 2018 Confluence

Are You Bored With Your Marriage?

Reading Time: 2 minutes Don’t put your happiness or your satisfaction on hold waiting for someone else to change. Don’t make your spouse responsible for your passion. Don’t let your love get stale, or altogether rotten while you’re too disconnected to do anything about it. Doing something, anything, do everything you can. Why? Because trust me, it’s easier than divorce. Breaking up is very, hard to do. Harder than you probably think it would be.

Relate

June 8, 2018 Confluence

An Open Letter to the Wife of My Lover

Reading Time: 3 minutes Yes, I have an advantage. He never sees me without my makeup because we have to make plans days in advance to see each other. I don’t have to ask him to take the garbage out because we don’t share a household. I do all of that myself. We don’t fight about money, because we don’t share any. The time I share with him is uncomplicated and unfettered by the daily complications of life because we don’t really share one. Occasionally, we share a bed, but sharing a bed is not the same.

Relate

June 7, 2018 Confluence

10 Ways to Upgrade Your Relationship in 1 One Minute or Less

Reading Time: 5 minutes Carrie wasn’t going to cheat. But she didn’t like the way her marriage felt. What she wanted was a quick fix and while a marriage that’s starving needs more than a quick fix mentality when two people truly love each other sometimes some easy steps in the right direction can take you miles back to where you want to be.

Carrie was clear. They didn’t have a lot of money for romantic weekend trips or even date nights. The first thing she said to me was, “If one more person tells me we need a date night, I’ll scream.” While I thought they did need a regular date night, they also needed a way to be different in their relationship every single day.

So, we came up with a list of ten things she could do every day that would take less than a minute each. I was hopeful, but not super optimistic about massive changes. This turned out to be one instance where I’m thrilled to admit I was wrong.