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elle stanger

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Sex and Disability: Resources for physically disabled folks

Reading Time: 4 minutes A key to understanding the intersection of sex and disability is understanding disability theory. Disability theory is complex and nuanced, but essentially: all disabled people are different, our needs are different, our needs deserve to be met, and that we are not a burden. The onus for unlearning ableism, such as unfavorable conceptions, or treatment of disabled people is on abled people.”

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My Boyfriend Wants to try Rape Fantasy Play – I’m a Sexual Assault Survivor

Reading Time: 3 minutes Rape roleplay isn’t inherently bad or good, but I’m curious about your partner’s interest in it, and his role in it.

When children play games it’s not unusual for them to sometimes choose the “villain” role, because role play is a safe(r) way to experience something new, but it’s disconcerting and suggests a power imbalance if he pressures you to proceed with this, especially if he knows that you’ve been hurt by a rapist in real life.

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My boyfriend’s best friend just started dating a woman who openly calls herself a swinger – It makes me nervous

Reading Time: 2 minutes Non-monogamous people who engage ethically and with good intentions tend to have better communication skills regarding sex and consent, and if you’d like to learn more about how people manage these interactions, I’d read “The Ethical Slut” 3rd edition by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton, or More Than Two by Rickert and Veaux. Opening Up by Tristan Taormino is also a great book.

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