In a recent interview, I was asked what the warning signs of a marriage on the brink were. I’m sure the interviewer was expecting to hear, abuse, infidelity, dishonesty, loss of intimacy, addiction, or any number of other big-ticket relationship deal breakers. When I answered the question by saying it was declining marital satisfaction, he was tongue-tied. He characterized that answer as elementary.
I think it’s anything but elementary. Not being happy in a relationship is the number one leading cause of all kinds of other bad things. In most cases, those other big-ticket deal breakers are symptoms of just not being happy enough. Typically a couple won’t seek help for “not being as happy as they used to be” and that’s too bad. At the “I’m just not happy” stage of trouble, there is still a lot of hope for getting a relationship back on track. At the “I’ve had an affair and want a divorce” stage of trouble, not so much.Read More