By: Lisa Cavallaro – Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know.
For years I would tell my youngest daughter what an amazing artist she is… and for years, she discounted what I was saying about her gift for drawing, painting and creating.
Then one day when she was in high school, she came home all excited about the feedback she received from her art teacher. Basically, the teacher said the same thing I’d been saying for years. The only difference was that Dina believed the teacher’s words.
After sharing in Dina’s excitement, I reminded her that I’ve been telling her the same thing the teacher said and she never seemed to care about what I was saying.
Her response was, “You’re my mom. You HAVE to say nice things to me.”
So basically, my daughter was discounting my honest feedback, but she accepted the compliment when she heard it from someone else. Fair enough… I’m just glad she’s finally owning the fact that she’s kick-ass creative. And I’ll be forever thankful to that teacher for taking the time to point it out to my kid.
Without realizing it last week, I think I may have extended the same favor to another mom.
I’ve been shopping at the same Wegmans grocery store for over thirty years, so I know most of the checkout clerks. But last week was the first time I was waited on by this one young lady.
With a smile on her face, she greeted me, then began to handle, scan and pack my groceries. She had a way about her that made doing her job appear effortless. I grew very curious about this great kid. I asked if she was a student and our conversation took off from there.
Her: I take online classes at the community college.
Me: Well, I don’t know what your major is, but I can tell for sure you’re going to be very successful at it. I see how well you do this job. You’ve got some great energy and it shows through your work.
Her (big smile on face): Really? Thank you!
Me: Yes. Really. I see lots of people doing this job. You stand out from the crowd. Where did you go to high school?
Her: I was homeschooled. My mother homeschooled all seven of us. I’m the youngest.
Me: Wow! Did they all turn out this good?
Her (chuckling): Ummm…. Yes. I guess so.
Me: Well tell your Mom I think she’s done an amazing job with you.
Her (handing me my receipt): Thank you! Thank you so much! I will. You made my day! Really!
Seriously, this girl made MY day. So did her Mom. In my mind, this girl’s mother is an extremely patient and gifted woman who I’m sure has told her daughter many times what an amazing kid she truly is.
Later that day, I realized the similarities between my daughter’s art teacher and me. Without realizing it, we told kids about their own amazing qualities — qualities that seemed so obvious to us, but to them seemed average, ordinary.
I’m guessing that girl went home and told her mother what I said. The mother probably reminded her daughter she’s been saying the same thing for years. And then the girl responded along the lines of “yeah, I thought that was just you doing your mom job.”
But most importantly, after hearing her mom’s message reinforced by a complete stranger, hopefully, the message actually sank into the girl’s brain. Hopefully, now this girl is owning the great qualities she possesses and truly believes she’s successful, amazing and full of great energy.
What a confident way to approach life.
Lisa Cavallaro, The Confidence Coach, is an LOA Coach with a solution-focused spin on bullying. She helps parents leverage Law of Attraction to raise kids who are self-confident and have a positive outlook toward peers, school and life. Lisa is the author of No More Drama and ADHD The Natural Way.
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