Dear Angry White Woman: Four Things To Do Instead of Dialing 911
By: Lisa M. Hayes – Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know.
Dear Angry White Woman,
A couple of things have become obvious recently. First of all, for some reason, many angry white women seem to have come to believe it’s acceptable in Trump’s America to call the police on people of color because you are uncomfortable with them just being there. Their black and brown-ness doesn’t challenge your whiteness. Really it doesn’t. They don’t really pose a threat just because they don’t look like you.
Despite that though, it’s become a hobby for some white women, a sport of sorts, to call the cops on black people for doing things like barbequing while black, going to the pool while black, campaigning for elected office while black, waiting for a friend at a coffee shop while black, checking into an AirBnB while black or being a firefighter while black.
White women are even taking out their anger and aggression at children of color – and no I’m not talking about the children in cages. That’s a whole other topic. I’m talking about black children selling bottled water on a hot day or little boys mowing lawns while black.
However, when I say we’ve come to believe it’s acceptable, I’d like to point out that belief is suspect, both morally and practically. Being an asswipe while white is costing people their jobs and making white people famous online for all the wrong reasons. Do you really want to become the next “Permit Patty”? I don’t think so. There is a social price to pay for getting out of your lane while white. Social media shaming is a thing you probably want to avoid. It has consequences. You won’t like them.
The second thing that seems obvious right now, is that some white women are very, very angry. Maybe you’ve got some reasons to be angry. Clearly, there is anger and some white women feel righteous enough in that rage to act on it. However, being pissed at the world is not going to make it any more acceptable to behave like a schoolyard bully with a phone that knows how to dial 911. Whether you believe it’s racist or not, it looks racist when you call the cops on a person of color for stupid shit. Racist is not a good look on anyone. People will be watching you behaving like an ass while white. They may very well also be filming you. However, this isn’t really about you no matter how much you want it to be.
Let us be very clear on one central point here. People of color are at risk of being killed by the police at a much higher rate per capita than white people. That’s not an opinion. It’s a fact. The ONLY way a person of color can one hundred percent be assured they will not be shot by a cop is to not encounter one.
Black and brown people know that.
Yes, dear angry white woman, when you decide to make your world right by forcing the cops into an encounter with a person of color, you are putting that person’s life at risk. While you might not have thought about that, now you know. So, before you dig your phone out of the nether regions of your purse to make that call, count to 1000 and get yourself in check.
You may be angry. You may even be a bitch. However, you probably don’t want blood on your hands. Even if you don’t care about the blood, you probably want to avoid having your life ruined by the storyline you set in motion by dialing 911 if things go south – and things do go south when people of color face cops even for minor infractions. People of color die at the hands of cops on the regular for doing nothing wrong other than being threatening only BECAUSE they are black or brown.
So, here is a list of four things to do instead of dialing 911 while white for no good reason – or for no reason that matters enough to roll a damn cop car.
1. Get some therapy.
Clearly, you’re unhappy. Clearly, you feel entitled in a world that doesn’t always bend to your will and that’s causing you distress. There are people who can help with that.
I don’t know what’s going on your life that’s causing your rage to boil over onto others. I don’t want to know. You might feel very alone right now surrounded by people who don’t look like you. However, for $100 an hour, you can hire a therapist who will give you their undivided attention for about an hour.
If you’ve been thinking about calling the police on others who irritate you by just being, you should book several sessions. If any of those people are little black children, you should schedule your sessions for several months. You need help. You can get it. You’ve got the cash in that purse of yours to pay for it. Your insurance will probably cover most of it.
2. Acknowledge and learn to understand your biases.
Yes, you’ve got some. Everyone does. Understanding them might help you to keep your biases from getting ugly publicly.
Then let it sink in.
If the results are upsetting or confusing for you, discuss them with your newly hired therapist.
3. Go to yoga AND maybe go to church, (Preferably a black church)
Your stress is showing on your face, oozing out of your pores, and it’s causing you to prematurely age. Your racism is making you the kind of ugly that can’t be fixed at a plastic surgeons office or any makeup counter.
Angry white women need to find themselves and find their zen. If you’re taking your rage out on unsuspecting people of color in public, chances are pretty high your raging at your kids in private. Niether is ok.
So, yoga might help. Meditation might be in order. It might be time to get God because I’m pretty sure dialing 911 for petty reasons doesn’t pass the “what would Jesus do?” test.
4. If all else fails, just walk away.
You know you’re not above day-drinking. Wine might help.
Red wine is better for you. However, as you know, Chardonnay is white.
More by Lisa:
Lisa M. Hayes, Senior Editor of Confluence Daily.
Confluence Daily is the one place where everything comes together. The one-stop for daily news for women.