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4 Things to Let Yourself Off the Hook for So You Can Thrive Now

by Confluence
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By: Lisa M. Hayes – Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know.

1. Let yourself off the hook for loving the life you have right now.

There is a shit ton of pressure out there to want more, more money, more time, more clients, more of everything. Oprah built an industry from the clarion call, “live your best life” as if living the life you’ve got isn’t the best.

Not everyone wants more. We don’t all want to go out and slay or be a lady-boss. You don’t need permission to be gloriously happy with what you’ve got. In fact, whether you want more or not, you absolutely should be happy as a clam right where you are. Things work better that way.

You can let yourself off the hook for not wanting a mega-business or a Pinterest-pro level home. You can let yourself off the hook for not wanting to get married if you’re single. You can let yourself off the hook for not craving kids if you don’t want them.

The drumbeat of hustle isn’t for everyone. It might not be useful for anyone.
The drive for more is uncomfortably married to a tendency for perfectionism. It is ok to acknowledge you already have enough – you are already enough – you love what you’ve got and this is your best life.

More is not always better.

2. Let yourself off the hook for not doing more for other people.

I know you think your precious kids should be in every sport, taking music lessons, in the drama club, and on the debate team. I know you think their future literally depends on that organic lunch you want to pack. But let me tell you now without any doubt, it doesn’t. You simply can’t rack up enough good parent points to get your kid into Harvard.

I know you feel guilty about not making cookies for the neighborhood association bake sale. I know you wish you’d gone to the doctor with your sister when she asked you for a ride. I know you felt guilty about saying no to your boss when she asked you for overtime. I feel you. I really do.

You’ve gotten better about saying “no” as a one-word sentence. However, chances are high, you still nail yourself to the cross of obligation for doing it. Learning to say no is not freedom if you don’t give yourself permission to enjoy the freedom you buy with your boundaries.

3. Let yourself off the hook for having the body you have right now.

Public notice to the “the body love movement is an excuse not to take care of yourself” crowd: Everyone takes better care of a body they love and respect than they will a body they loath and want to hide.

Seriously, if you’re eating the way you know you should and moving your body the way she wants to be moved, you are at your ideal body weight. Rejoice in the sheer delight of knowing you’re body will settle where she wants to happy and you can be thrilled relaxing into her wisdom.

Let yourself off the hook for not being a size 6, or 14, or 2, or whatever size you’re not. Let yourself off the hook for not having an athletic build or for not being curvy. You can, in fact, enjoy being in the skin you’re in without feeling guilty about not being on a diet or not training for that next 5k.

You don’t have to diet just because everyone else is. Exercise how you want to or not. Let yourself off the hook for not having the motivation to measure yourself on someone else’s yardstick.

4. Let yourself off the hook for not reaching your dreams.

I know it might sound like a bitter pill to swallow, but maybe you didn’t get there and maybe it’s awesome anyway. We all have dreams and it’s not breaking news to report not all of them come true.

I can think of at least a dozen dreams I’ve had without even taking a pause that in retrospect I’m really happy tanked miserably. Dreams lived best are an inspiration point, not an absolute destination. You can navigate by your dreams without getting there exactly and still end up exactly where you were intended to land.

Our wildest dreams reveal more about who we are than what we want. If you had a big dream that didn’t unfold, that doesn’t mean that desire didn’t serve a purpose. Even if you think it’s dead, it doesn’t always mean it is. Dreams have a way of evolving for the times. They tend to be more flexible than we are at times.

If you haven’t achieved a dream that once seemed important, it’s ok to let yourself off the hook and relax into the amazing brilliance of your here and now. You can thank that dream for fueling the amazing fabulousness that is the life you created along the journey.

Sometimes dreams fail miserably. Sometimes they flame out over time. Sometimes they simmer for what seems like forever and then catch fire and thrive. Sometimes a dream is irrelevant in comparison to the fabulousness that unfolds when you’re planning something else.


More by Lisa:

Forgive or Get Out




Lisa is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.




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