By: Lisa Hayes – Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know.
A white female off-duty cop is convicted of killing a black man who was sitting in his own home eating icecream on the sofa. After she is sentenced, both the victim’s brother and the black judge that presided over her trial, embraced the murderer, literally. They hugged her, with obvious compassion and a grand gesture of forgiveness. The judge handed the murderer a Bible as a parting gift in open court. The internet exploded.
Amber Guyger is a racist. The trial proved that fact beyond opinion. She murdered a black man in his home with a paper-thin excuse. Sure, a jury convicted a cop of killing a black man, which is highly uncommon. However, her sentence felt predictably like a slap on the wrist for taking a life in cold blood. She’ll be out, a free woman, way before her ten-year sentence has finished.
You’ve seen the photos. The hug-fest that followed her sentencing was highly confronting and offensive to some. It was inspirational and a breath of fresh air to others. Putting it simply, white people really dug it. It felt like absolution – absolution for a crime that can’t actually be absolved. Bothan Jean can’t be brought back from the dead by forgiveness and a Bible.
Then there is Ellen. Ellen Degeneres had a grand time at a baseball game with former President George W. Bush. Photos were taken and people had questions. The internet exploded again. Ellen got push-back, so she gave a monologue of explanation.
“Here’s the thing,” DeGeneres said at the start of her show, “I’m friends with George Bush. In fact, I’m friends with a lot of people who don’t share the same beliefs that I have. We’re all different. And I think that we’ve forgotten that that’s OK that we’re all different.”
She went on to say that when she drops her catchphrase, “Be kind to each other”, she means to be kind to everyone.
Some people really loved that message. Some folks were enchanted by the spiritual by-passing and good Christian appropriateness of that sentiment. For other people, it smelled a lot like death, destruction, and regret, wrapped in a mayo white coat of privilege and sunshine.
George W. Bush signed off on an illegitimate war, justified by lies, that killed more people, military and civilian, than any other in modern history, maybe ever. History tells us, Bush may not have been the architect. However, he certainly was the conductor.
George Dubya started that war motivated by hubris, rage, and a personal vendetta. You can’t paint enough portraits of vets you sent to war to clean that stain off your karma.
Yes, we are all different.
However, the constant drumbeat of the moral superiority of love and niceness has provided too much cover for too many people, for too long. Some people’s different beliefs cause harm. Sometimes that harm is uncalculable and wildly unpredictable.
George W. Bush’s beliefs caused massive harm on a global scale.
Amber Guygers’s beliefs and biases cost a man his life and tore apart a community. Misogyny, racism, and intolerance destroy everything in their wake.
When people of privilege, (usually white people), default to politeness in the face of intolerance and hate, as a form of absolution, it is bypassing.
When people of less privilege, (usually people of color), default to politeness in the face of intolerance and hate, it’s often a survival mechanism or a trauma response.
The idea of embracing people with views different than your own is a noble one. However, when those different views are dangerous, kindness is a part of the problem. Kindness becomes the currency of privilege.
The stories of German families who didn’t confront their Nazi neighbors because the Nazis were nice people aren’t just stories. That’s history.
You’ve probably seen the quote by Aditi Juneja, “If you’ve wondered what you would’ve done during slavery, the Holocaust, or Civil Rights movement…you’re doing it now.”
History has its eyes on us now. We will be judged by future generations.
Those future generations are counting on us to do more than group hugs and overtures in politeness. We’ve got to rise above absolution and endless cycles of forgiveness that hasn’t been asked for.
When you ask yourself, “What would Jesus do?”, remember Jesus was the man who tore down a market enraged at capitalism and viciously defended the honor of a sex worker. Jesus was put to death because he wouldn’t conform to popular public opinion or politely embrace injustice.
By today’s standards, Jesus would have undoubtedly been considered an anarchist, executed for being too radical. Yes, Jesus loved, but he was highly intolerant of hate and hypocrisy. Jesus loved with a fierceness that wasn’t weak or passive. It’s time we stopped using the Bible as a free pass to avoid the discomfort of doing nothing, or worse yet, embracing people who’s beliefs cause harm.
It’s time we quit elevating politeness over progress. It’s time we quit placing a higher value on feel-good warm and fuzzy moments than the lives of people who are impacted or even ended by people who have different beliefs when those beliefs oppress, cause harm, or make it ok to kill.
In case you want a different point of view:
Lisa M. Hayes, Senior Editor of Confluence Daily.
Confluence Daily is the one place where everything comes together. The one-stop for daily news for women.
