One place where everything comes together
Reading Time: 2 minutesThe mistreatment kids encounter through bullying can be infuriating and sad.
It’s also a mirror image of daily adult life.
So let’s prepare them.
Even eternal optimists know that pretending we’ll ever be able to end bullying is a gross misconception.
A much wiser use of our time would be helping kids respectfully thrive amidst it.
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Reading Time: 8 minutesWomen often mistakenly take their cues from advertising and media when they are trying to figure out what a man wants in a woman. And making that mistake can lend itself to some painful and costly outcomes. What I’ve learned from working with men over the years is there are more good guys out there than most women tend to believe. The assholes and takers get a lot of airtime and take up a lot of our attention. However, at the end of the day, most men are fundamentally good at heart and want to do what’s right by the women they love.
Here are ten things I’ve learned about men, love, and romance after more than a decade of talking to men about women:
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Reading Time: 2 minutesPeople who bully aren’t bad people. They just learned a way of getting things they want… like power, friends, money, laughs… by doing things that hurt other people. They don’t necessarily intend to hurt others, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.
It’s not our job to teach bullies how their actions affect other people. But for our own good, we ARE responsible for understanding their behavior as a demonstration of THEIR weaknesses, not ours.
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Reading Time: 4 minutesHave you ever looked back at recent journal entries only to realize that all of the optimistic goals you wrote down never made it off the page?
Maybe you said you were going to lose 20 pounds and actually ended up gaining five.
Or perhaps you were going to write the Great American Novel, but instead only wrote two blog post drafts, neither of which you ended up posting.
You’re not alone. A lot of well-meaning individuals find themselves in similar circumstances.
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Reading Time: 4 minutes I’m not saying appreciation alone will save a marriage that’s in critical condition. It might, it might not. However, appreciation and gratitude will prevent a relationship from ending up on life support almost every time.
Appreciation is relationship insurance.
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Reading Time: 2 minutesSome people have a very difficult (impossible) time of talking about anything sexual; this is often shaped by how their family talks about bodies, sexual health or consent in the household. Families who tend to be deeply religious often talk about sex less, based on what I hear from my friends and clients. And people who feel negatively about sex are much less likely to use birth control successfully, discuss their pleasure with a partner, or masturbate, according to a study published in The Journal of Sex Research.
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Reading Time: 4 minutesPeople use “daddy” as a term of endearment or arousal for various reasons that have to do with their attitudes around provider roles, masculinity and tenderness of men or masculine folks. People also use daddy as a way of experimenting in power roles and dynamics that are shaped by society and our histories. Additionally, it is important to acknowledge that some folks utilize the word as a means to rework their relationships after trauma. The choice to use “daddy” is a complex one for some, and a very popular one; I’ve never received so much feedback as when I solicited this answer to my readers.
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Reading Time: 5 minutesPoetry is powerful medicine. I know some people who might say poetry isn’t their jam. However, I’d say it’s because they haven’t found the right poet.
Some of the greatest thinkers of our time and in history of express(ed) themselves in poetry. Poets have a way of seeing life, love, struggle, and triumph as art. The right poet can shift the way you see things through prose without effort.
The very act of memorizing something requires attention and intention. It requires a special kind of focus that changes your brain. When you memorize something it’s an act of choice and that changes you and your perspective in ways that aren’t obvious but are very powerful. That thing becomes a part of you in a very magical way.
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Reading Time: 3 minutesWe can talk all we want about the different forms of bullying. We can gather statistics on how many kids are being bullied. We can teach kids why and how they can report bullying. We can teach kids all about kindness, respect and inclusion. And none of it will work. We know this because we’ve been doing all of these and still, kids are being bullied and anxiety is on the rise.
Kids desperately need to learn how to regulate their emotions. They need to understand what they’re feeling. They need to recognize why they’re feeling it. Most importantly, they need a healthy strategy for managing how they feel, which is essentially the energy they bring to our world.
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Reading Time: < 1 minuteThe history of rape culture in psychiatry, bad club owners, and anti-arousal medication
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