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Author: Confluence

All white people look alike – A lesson from the border

Reading Time: 7 minutesWhom do you render invisible?
How are you getting your education about people who do not look like you or who you view as part of a blurred whole?
Do you expect marginalized people to educate you about themselves, their communities and their lives?
Do you sense the power differential in that demand?

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Why Unification Is The Death Of A Marriage

Reading Time: 2 minutesPersonally, I do not want to become half of some amalgamated union. I want to feel desire and devotion for my beloved. Not obligation and or responsibility. That said, I cannot desire him, if I honestly see him as an extension of myself. A relationship is bigger when two people bring their whole selves to it and breath fresh air through, when the space they take up forces the relationship to expand. Relationships do not feed themselves.

People need their own time, hobbies, friends, and money. They need to flourish and grow alone so the relationship itself doesn’t stagnate. I believe one of the most accurate measurements of a healthy relationship is how much two people encourage each other to grow individually. Yes, that takes courage, but the pay off personally is huge, so it’s both altruistic and selfish at the same time.

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3 News Stories You Should Read Today – 4/17/2018

Reading Time: 2 minutesConfluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know. Why we should stop treating Silicon Valley’s male CEOs like children They’re grown-ass men. “He’s one of the richest people on earth. He’s an adult. He’s 30-some years old. He can answer questions if he’s the CEO. … Stop juvenilizing men here in Silicon Valley.” That’s how Kara Swisher, co-founder and executive editor of the technology news website Recode, reacted to the treatment Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg received from lawmakers during his testimony on Capitol Hill last week. (Recode is owned by Vox’s parent company, Vox...

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My husband and I had an amazing sex life until we had our baby. Now I can’t orgasm.

Reading Time: 2 minutesSex therapists tell me that the most common population of people who have trouble with arousal or orgasm are working women with children. Kids, labor and relationships require energy, which new parents don’t always have. Also, the constant diapering and crying of a new baby can drive a serious wedge into a person’s ability to fantasize about sex or to relax enough to enjoy it.

I believe that you will orgasm again, but that will happen after you’ve stopped trying so hard to get there, and focusing on the goal rather than the journey will add to your self-imposed pressure.

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