Friday, May 9, 2025
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lisa m hayes

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Confluence

You Might Fail and It Might Be Better For You Than You Think

Reading Time: 4 minutes Really bold courageous people know that there is very little risk in failing because they’ve got a lot of experience with it. When they take on something new, they do it knowing that “failing” is an option but that potential failure isn’t really a cause for concern. It’s not a preferred outcome, but if they fail, it’s a temporary event, not a defining moment. 

Luck tends to favor the bold and nothing makes us more risk-tolerant than a string of failures. 

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About that Boyfriend I Could Take Out in Public

Reading Time: 4 minutes If you’re looking around your life baffled by why someone else is showing up as a class one asshole, you probably don’t need to look any further than yourself for the explanation. Your self-worth is sub-par, probably really subpar. You’ve got work on you to do.

You can’t change anyone else. You can only change you.

Work on yourself.
Love on yourself.
Be with yourself tenderly.

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Confluence

The Shifting Truth of Boundary Blowout

Reading Time: 8 minutes He cheats, or he shoves you to the floor in a fight and you didn’t see it coming. You freeze in place, like a deer in the headlights. Then one of two things is going to happen. Either you’re going to flee or you aren’t, but if you don’t flee, chances are you will experience “boundary blowout”. Then, because you have to, you will start lying to yourself and everyone else. You won’t see it exactly that way, but that’s exactly what it is.

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Evolve
Confluence

Confessions of a Drama Addict

Reading Time: 4 minutes Make no mistake, drama is an addiction. It’s as simple as this, I tend to run a little cool, a little low energy, so when I’m sluggish, I can have a Dr. Pepper, a hit of drama, or I can be a rational person and take a nap. Let the record reflect I suffered from adrenal fatigue for a decade, so it doesn’t take a doctor to tell how I might tend to manage my energy deficit.

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Turn the News Off: Ten Point Plan for a News Sabbatical Starting Today

Reading Time: 6 minutes I’m going to let you in on a little secret.
Now is an exceptionally good time to turn the news off. 
Take more than a break. Take a sabbatical. 
It’s ok to power down, unplug, and refocus on your life without the input. 
Seriously, if something is happening you really need to know, like an asteroid hurling towards earth, someone will tell you. 

At this point, the news is an anxiety-inducing adrenaline pumping experience. Chances are pretty high if you unplug you’ll actually go through a detox. However, that is the very reason to do it. You and your body probably need a reset. 

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Evolve
Confluence

Choose Your Own Thoughts

Reading Time: 5 minutes It really comes down to being willing to take on the responsibility of advertising to yourself.

You are far too powerful to be anything less than radiant in the world. Your power is your thoughts and your focus and you’re in charge of that. A lot of other people will knock on your door, to get inside your head, but you get to decide who you let in, and the way you do that is by thinking your own thoughts. YOU HAVE TO THINK YOUR OWN THOUGHTS. If you don’t it’ll get done for you.

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Informed
Confluence

One Common Denominator

Reading Time: 5 minutes As the words of our President have become a part of the manifesto of a crazed killer on the opposite side of our planet, we need to start taking the responsibility of what’s happening here much more seriously because this is not normal. House Speaker Pelosi was recently quoted as saying although Trump is not fit to be president she also didn’t think he’s worth the impeachment process. Those words make no sense to me.

I’ll tell you who else might question that logic: The people of Christchurch New Zealand who are in the process of burying their dead. Trump is more than an inconvenience. He is beyond the pale of unfit to lead. He is dangerous to himself and others and we cannot normalize that. If we do, we won’t recognize ourselves when this is over.

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Confluence

Online dating, game theory, and meeting the love of your life

Reading Time: 7 minutes Online dating is nothing more than a massive and complex focus machine. 
If you get yourself set up online, and you use that massive pool of data to focus on what you want, the algorithms within the game and in “reality” as a larger universe will respond by delivering more of that. 

Conversely, the opposite is true. If you get distracted by all the fray in the online dating environment, the algorithms won’t work for you – well they will work, but just not in the way you want them to. You can tell what you’re focusing on based on the results you’re getting online and in the real world.

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