lisa m hayes – Page 6 – Confluence Daily

Reading Time: 7 minutes A woman who doesn’t love herself is always a great risk of falling for a man who will take advantage of her inability to value herself. That kind of vulnerability is dangerous in the wrong hands. The risk is real and the consequences are steep. The bottom line is, if you don’t feel valuable, and completely worthy of only good things, you shouldn’t be dating at all. Being alone while you’re figuring yourself out is way better than being with an abuser, no matter how long it takes to get emotionally healthy.

Engage

October 22, 2018 Confluence

We Might Want to Think Twice Before Betting Our Democracy on the Upcoming Blue Wave…

Reading Time: 3 minutes Trump is a historically unpopular president among the general U.S. population, but consistently retains extremely high levels of Republican support. Recent polls have put him at around a 90 percent approval rating among Republicans.

And in case you’re wondering what issue rises to the top for those Republicans, it’s race and race-related issues like immigration and border control. It’s all about race all day long for the majority of those voters. And we’re not guessing. Poll after poll says the same thing.

This telling us something we may not want to hear: About half of the U.S. is racist as A.F. and that’s not much of a secret anymore.

Relate

October 18, 2018 Confluence

A Mother’s Guide to Raising Sexually Responsible Sons

Reading Time: 6 minutes The majority of sex education is focused at girls, specifically driving in the point that girls have a lot more to lose because of the risk of pregnancy. This, leaving an unspoken message that boys are mostly unaffected by unplanned pregnancy — which unfortunately is true more often than it should be, but not always. Yeah, we’re teaching safe sex. Boys hear the condom message loud and clear, and studies show many of them are still ignoring it.

Traditionally, women have left the heavy lifting of sex-education for boys to men. Fathers handle it and maybe a coach chimes in. Then a lot of the rest of it is left to peers. However, now, for reasons that are obvious women are wondering how to help their boys. No one wants to raise an “accidental rapist” – and that’s a pretty low bar.

Informed

October 17, 2018 Confluence

We Need to Build a Bridge for Republican Women with a Welcoming Committee When They Cross.

Reading Time: 6 minutes At some point, it’s in our best interests to find a way to build a bridge for those women to leave the Republican party because the Republican party left them long ago and many of them are feeling that. They are feeling a lot right now because let me assure you, their trauma is just as traumatic as ours. Their abusers were just as abusive. Their rapists didn’t check their voter’s registration cards before their assaults began.

And when I say, “at some point”, I mean now. Right now is the time because saving them might just save our democracy.

Relate

October 16, 2018 Confluence

6 Ways To Find Yourself On A Spiritual Path

Reading Time: 5 minutes I’m in the spiritually based personal development business. I think a lot of people could transform their lives by taking a deeper dive into learning about spirituality. Reading the books, buying the stuff, spending time in the sphere of a teacher can be life transforming. However, the key is to find yourself in the teachings vs. trying to recreate yourself to be a knock off of a master.

When it comes to the depths of my soul, no one can be my guru but me.

The same rules apply to you. You are your own best guru. No one else can feel the stir of your heart. You aren’t going to find your fire in the pages of a book. It’s your life work to examine the DNA of your soul, then figure out who to sooth it and grow it on your unique journey to your specific brand of enlightenment.

Evolve

October 5, 2018 Confluence

Ten Ways To Be Your Own Guru

Reading Time: 6 minutes Gurus are a dime a dozen. There is always someone selling something that’s going to fix everything. A lot of people will line up to buy the magic pill or quick fix, even if we know, we’ll probably never take it or use it.

Sure, we all can benefit from a guide who can shine the light on a path we want to hike. However, most of us have more self-help and spiritual books on our shelves than we will ever read, let alone implement.

Not to mention, the flavor of the day is always changing. The next great thought leader is always emerging. The newest process or product might just do the trick.

But here’s the thing: You are the expert on you.

Elevate Thrive

October 3, 2018 Confluence

I Want to be a Woman of a Certain Age

Reading Time: 2 minutes I want to be a woman of a certain age.

I want to earn my laugh lines. I want to cackle like a madwoman who doesn’t care who’s watching. I want to laugh until I cry or maybe even pee my pants, just a little. I want to find humor in things that only someone who’s seen some things come and go, can find. I want to giggle with children because I’ve learned what they already know; nothing is ever that serious.

Engage

September 27, 2018 Confluence

In Case You Are Wondering If You Were Raped

Reading Time: 3 minutes Many of us grew up hearing a message about how to avoid “asking for it”.
Lots of us heard the messaging about “what she was wearing”. Too many women have been asked that question. While as adult women now, we know better than that, those attitudes are deeply rooted in our psyches. We may not be as far past the shame as we think we are.

For reasons that are very obvious, we need to get crystal clear, with ourselves right now.
No means no and there is no consent without choice.

Here are some things to remember:

Relate

September 25, 2018 Confluence

Busting the Top 5 Lies We Tell Ourselves and Each Other About the Men Who Leave

Reading Time: 3 minutes If a man is into you, he will make time.
If he’s into you and can’t make time, that’s saying something about his priorities, and no matter how much he digs you, aren’t the priority. You don’t want to be second, or fourth on the list of a man you love.

Relate

September 20, 2018 Confluence

4 Things to Let Yourself Off the Hook for So You Can Thrive Now

Reading Time: 4 minutes I know you feel guilty about not making cookies for the neighborhood association bake sale. I know you wish you’d gone to the doctor with your sister when she asked you for a ride. I know you felt guilty about saying no to your boss when she asked you for overtime. I feel you. I really do.

You’ve gotten better about saying “no” as a one-word sentence. However, chances are high, you still nail yourself to the cross of obligation for doing it. Learning to say no is not freedom if you don’t give yourself permission to enjoy the freedom you buy with your boundaries.