lisa m hayes – Page 8 – Confluence Daily

Reading Time: 5 minutes I recently talked to a woman who’d been emotionally and psychologically abused by her fiance for almost two years. It was bad. Everyone could see it but her. She told me that after her best friend’s roommate pointed out to her that he was a classic malignant narcissist she knew she needed to end it. She looked it up online. She read all the “symptoms” and sure enough, it fit him to a tee. So, she was finally done. He’s crazy.

The roommate is a barista. While the observant barista might have been right, those kinds of diagnosis are very complicated and it’s not easy to get right. Even more so, it’s sad that so often we need an excuse to leave a relationship that’s not working.

Thrive

August 9, 2018 Confluence

Beauty is Not in the Eye of the Beholder

Reading Time: 3 minutes Being gorgeous for a split second to be photo ready in the commercial world, is a very different thing than being the kind of beautiful that weaves in and out of the moments of our days and lives. That kind of beauty has everything to do with how we perceive ourselves, not how others perceive us, because it truly is an inside job. I have coached more than one professional model that had serious self-esteem issues.

We’ve all seen it, going both ways. We’ve all met women who were pretty for a while, but our perception of them changed because they were flowing an energy that wasn’t genuinely attractive. Additionally, we’ve all met the woman who had the attention of everyone around her, in a very positive way, that didn’t meet the standards of “traditional beauty”, but had that little somethin’ somethin’ that turned heads.

Relate

August 6, 2018 Confluence

Why Sex is So Important in Relationships and Four Ways to Turn Up the Heat

Reading Time: 3 minutes Women often fall into the trap of withholding sex because they aren’t getting enough romance. They want to feel that intimate connection before they put out. However, that backfires. The act of sex increases the very neurochemical that creates the intimacy they crave.

Relate

August 3, 2018 Confluence

How You Feel About Yourself Is Contagious

Reading Time: 4 minutes It doesn’t come naturally for a woman to love herself in our society. In fact, things are set up quite the opposite. A lot of huge, money-making corporations in the world that control most of what you see out there every day, bank of the fact that you will feel unworthy.

This is a bold statement, but I’ll say it anyway. If you don’t have the skills to truly love yourself, you might not have much business in a relationship. You are dangerous to yourself and others until you heal. A relationship won’t fix you. Only you can do that.

This story was shared with permission and the names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved.

Informed

August 2, 2018 Confluence

You Decide: Understanding Obstruction of Justice

Reading Time: 4 minutes Our forefathers framed the Constitution around one simple belief. A President would not be allowed to abuse his power. These people were trying to build something that wouldn’t devolve into tyrannical abuses of kings and queens. They had some experience there. They knew what they wanted to avoid. The power handed to a president is a sacred trust, and if abused should be revoked. If you want to know what the founders had in mind, read the Declaration of Independence, which formed the essential backdrop for the constitutional debates.

Evolve

August 1, 2018 Confluence

5 Steps Towards Enlightenment When Love and Light Aren’t Cutting It

Reading Time: 4 minutes Seriously, very few things are actually worth giving a shit about.
I know it seems like very-single-thing is code red, but trust me it’s not. Your life is probably not really on fire, so you can stop running around acting like you’re putting one out.

Are you breathing?
Are you currently NOT being chased by a bear?
If you answered yes to those two questions, everything is really ok right now.

Evolve

July 20, 2018 Confluence

Be Relentless In The Pursuit Of More

Reading Time: 2 minutes Goal setting doesn’t work because it’s are based on the innately flawed premise that you need to be different. It’s often about giving something up when chances are what you really need is more. The biggest epidemic we have as a society is chronically underfed and uninspired souls.

Listen to the whisper of your soul. It’s probably begging for more.

Informed

July 18, 2018 Confluence

Those Feel-good Cop Videos You’re Sharing on Social Media are PR Through Gaslighting

Reading Time: 5 minutes In a perfect world, or even a better world, these videos would be representative of the relationships law enforcement has with the communities they serve – and in some communities, it might be true. However, in other communities, communities of color, these videos portray a fantasy served up to entertain white folk who like to support the men and women in blue.

Gaslighting for PR is not ok.
Sharing the videos might delight your white friends who get joy from watching them. However, those feel-good moments are staged or even extorted at the expense of people who don’t want to play along. Please at least take a moment to reconsider before you hit that share button.

Informed

July 16, 2018 Confluence

In the Last Few Days, Trump Disrespected Chancellor Angela Merkel, PM Theresa May, and the Queen of England – But You Are More Powerful than They Are

Reading Time: 4 minutes Women are the largest voting block in this country – by enough to get beyond the margins of foreign election tampering. If there was ever a time to stop voting party lines and vote for our own interests, that time is now. If Trump can’t respect the most powerful women in the world, there is no reason to think he will respect any one of us.

In the end, though, the joke may be on him because individually and collectively, if we vote, each one of us is more powerful than the Queen of England, PM Theresa May, and Chancellor Merkel combined.

Start now. Make your plan to vote in November. It’s not too early to start getting ready. Ask for the day off work now if you need to. Double check your voter registration and eligibility status to make sure you haven’t been purged from the voter rolls. Get your ballot by mail of that’s an option. And if not, make a plan to get to the polls under marshal law if you have to – and I say that only partially kidding.

Uncategorized

July 13, 2018 Confluence

Brian Benczkowski: 8 Things You Need to Know About the New Top Official at the DOJ

Reading Time: 2 minutes Does this signal serious trouble for the Special Council’s investigation?

Yes. It does.

Is it the beginning of the end?

It’s hard to say. I’m sure the Republicans and the Trump Administration would like to think so. However, it’s likely the momentum of the investigation will make it nearly impossible to walk it all backward in any substantive way. The real litmus test of where we are will happen at the midterms in November because, at the end of the day, the will of the people still runs a democracy, assuming we still have one.