Cindie Chavez ©2018
“Take the lighted path, no matter how dimly lit.” ~Simran Singh
That proverbial fork in the road – sometimes even the simplest decision can feel like a struggle when we start taking all of the many factors into consideration. Even though it would be easy to shake a magic 8-ball, or just flip a coin, sometimes we’d like to feel a little more grounded when we’re making a difficult decision, especially if there is a lot at stake. Here are some tips, pointers, encouragement and support because you may be right smack in the midst of tough decision time and it’s important to find clarity and feel confident right now.
1. You don’t have to see the entire path yet, just the part where there is a fork in the road. Like driving your car at night, you generally can’t see much further than your headlights, and somehow that is enough. Bring yourself into the present moment, and make the decision here and now. No one knows the future, and all of your power is in the present moment. What does it feel like right now to decide one way or the other? What do you feel when you consider each possible decision. Your feelings are a miracle Pay attention to them, all of them.
2. Instead of telling yourself that you “should” do this or that, ask yourself what you want to do. “The Shoulds” usually pop up when we are feeling guilty or obligated. Guilt and obligation are actually pretty useful feelings if we allow them to remind us of our values. You can almost always find a choice that feels good to you while honoring your values. There are no shoulds.
3. All possible actions generally have one of two driving forces…fear or love. What is driving your decision? Fear-based decisions aren’t always the best choices. Sometimes we need to step out and take risks. However, if fear is driving your choice pay attention! Fear is not something to be ignored. If there is a reason you’re afraid then let love, especially self-love, support you in taking the necessary action.
4. Check your boundaries. If you are making a decision because you are tired of tolerating something chances are your boundaries are weak in this area. What choice would you make if your boundaries were stronger?
5. Get some rest. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture. Generally speaking tortured individuals make choices they might regret later. Make your decision after a good night of rest. If possible, take this a step further with a short meditation prior to your decision making moment.
6. There are no mistakes, only human experience. What would you choose if you truly believed that you couldn’t make a wrong choice? Trust yourself.
7. When you step back and observe (rather than judging), what do you know for sure about the situation? So often we extrapolate a little bit of information into a big story that’s made up of a few facts and a lot of imagination. What do you know for certain? And how would your decision be affected if those certainties were all you based your decision on?
8. Be willing to take imperfect action. Give yourself permission to make a less than “perfect” decision. Perfectionism is not about wanting things to be perfect, perfectionism is about wanting to feel safe. We often think we’ll feel more confident if things are perfect, but confidence happens when we are willing to make mistakes.
9. Chances are if you are trying to make a tough decision there may be a lot of people giving you advice. What advice would you give if someone you loved dearly was making this decision? I once coached a woman who was in an abusive relationship and trying to decide whether to stay or go. I asked her what advice she would give her daughter if her daughter was being abused. Her answers were very different from what she had previously come up with for herself.
10. Let others know what you want, and whatever it is that you want, put it out there for someone else too. If you want love, give love. If you want kindness, be kind. If you need space, allow others to have space. What is it that you really want in this decision? Find an opportunity to give that same thing to someone else, even in a small way.
More by Cindie:
Cindie Chavez is known as “The Love & Magic Coach”. She is the creator of MOONLIGHT™ – A Course in Manifesting Love and she has some great free stuff for you at her website: www.cindiechavez.com
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