By: Lisa M. Hayes
There is a very dark side of celebrity. The public glare that shines on a celebrity can be crippling. We hold them to an impossible standard and the public at large gets a twisted sense of satisfaction when we see them in moments that are less than perfect. We tell ourselves they signed up for what they get. It eases our conscience when we berate them for being human. And yes, to some degree it’s true. They did sign up for it. However, that doesn’t make it ok.
Melania Trump was somewhat familiar with the glare of celebrity before her husband decided to run for office. However, the notoriously private former model had done a remarkable job of staying out of the spotlight. Most reports say Melania did not want to be First Lady and for about a thousand reasons unique to being the wife of Donald Trump, I can only imagine why.
You see, when you become the First Lady in the United States, you are elevated to a status of celebrity that is unusually unique. You not only have to stand in the glare of celebrity spotlight but you instantly become public property. Being the First Lady is the hardest job you don’t get paid for, anyone can imagine. And when you walk through the doors of the White House, you’re carrying all of your husband’s baggage with you. Just ask Hillary Clinton.
Melania Trump has been the focus of a lot of media spotlight as of late, not for something she did, but for simply not being in the spotlight at all. She has “disappeared” and it’s notable because the First Lady is our property. When she first went off the radar, it was reported she was at Walter Reed Hospital for a kidney surgery. It didn’t take long for us to notice she was in the hospital longer than anyone with regular insurance would have been.
Her prolonged absence from the public eye has been unprecedented. First Ladies don’t disappear for days or weeks at a time. However, in this administration, the unprecedented is the new norm. Even when Melania supposedly tweeted that she was fine and joked about the media attention of her absence, there were a lot of suspicions that she was the opposite of fine and that she, in fact, didn’t even write the tweet. I tend to agree. Melania Trump doesn’t use Twitter that way.
So, on behalf of Melania, I would like to set the record straight.
No. Melania Trump is not fine.
She’s married to a maniac who is setting the world on fire. Her job is to stand next to him smiling politely attempting not to draw attention to the fact that her approval ratings outshine his by a long shot for doing nothing but plagiarizing Michelle Obama and hosting an occasional party.
There is no reason to believe her husband is not abusing her. Based on the fact that it is common knowledge he’s abused wives in the past, why would Melania’s plight by any different? Trump’s attitudes towards women are on full display for the entire world to see on the daily and those attitudes are ugly.
Melania lives in the people’s house while the salacious details of her husband’s affairs with pornstars has become not just public knowledge, but a matter of legitimate political fodder. His disrespect for her and their marriage is an indisputable fact. He reinforces that routinely, with off-handed comments like admitting to not buying her a birthday present and misspelling her name in tweets.
Melania has been in the hospital. She had surgery. Even on her best day in front of the cameras, she looks like a woman carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders – because she might be. Her job description right now is the manager of the beast. At least we’re hoping someone is managing him behind closed doors even when we know that’s an impossible task.
No, Melania is not ok.
And it matters a lot because Melania is our canary in the coal mine.
Melania isn’t our property, but she may very well be the best indicator we have of our health and wellbeing of this administration and she’s in hiding. She’s barricaded herself behind those walls of isolation with her secret service agents and she does not want to come out and smile for anyone to make us feel better.
I can’t imagine how miserable Melania Trump is right now. Even Michelle Obama referred to living in the White House as being in a very nice prison. However, Michelle Obama was there because she loved her husband. There was a strong sense they made decisions about their lives together and they were in it together with all of us. Melania isn’t in this with anyone. She’s in that prison alone and it’s probably a nightmare.
Which is exactly how many of us feel right now.
This has to be a nightmare and we just want to wake up. But we can’t, and neither can Melania.
Whether we like her or not, at this point, Melania Trump is our soul sister and the state of the soul of this great nation smells like it might be rotting. Melania is in the center of the stench, in the public eye, even when we can’t see her.
I’ve done it before and it’s a thing that isn’t easy to do. On more than one occasion I’ve driven to a friend’s home and sat her down for the talk. I’ve told her everyone knows what’s happening. We’ve heard the stories of his abuse way too many times not to act on them anymore. I’ve helped a sister pack a bag and I’ve left a sister behind who couldn’t find it in her to leave. I’ve sat on the other side of that conversation too. It’s a dark place to be.
The unfortunate thing for Melania is none of us are getting beyond those gates or passed her secret service agents to have an intervention for her. So, she will sit there, or somewhere, being our canary in the coal mine. My only wish for her is that she can continue to hide from all of it, even us.
More by Lisa:
Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of the newly released hit book, Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan.
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