Mean People Suck, But Do We Really Need to Keep Talking About Bullies?

By: Lisa Cavallaro – Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know.

I don’t have much of a tolerance for mean people. When I notice someone trying to intimidate another person, it’s a huge turnoff for me. Basically, I lose respect for the person doing the intimidating.

Short of feeling sorry for the intimidator, I wonder why they think the route to getting what they want in life involves crushing other people and other people’s desires and dreams. Watching some of these intimidators in action… especially when they do it over and over again to the point that friends, family members and co-workers recognize the behavior as “just a regular part of how they roll” is actually quite pathetic.

You probably already get it but I still feel the need to say that I do not agree with, support or encourage people being mean to other people… regardless of where anyone falls on the organization chart or family tree, or in social status.

However, no matter what I think, the fact is that some people still and probably always will use intimidation as a regular way of getting the things they want. They’ll use it at school, in business, on the highway, in conversation, on the playing field, in their homes, online and basically everywhere they go.

With their words, their bodies and their influence, they’ll try to manipulate others into feeling fearful, embarrassed, guilty and helpless.

In every sense of the word, this is bullying.  

But can we please stop talking about it?

No doubt these intimidators have a way of using their power in ways that don’t seem right or fair. But when we create programs and campaigns to stop them, we are in essence keeping the spotlight right where they like it… on them.

A majority of the headlines filling my inbox these days is about getting these intimidators to stop being who they are. For example:

• Schools Step Up to Combat Bullying
• Governor Signs Anti-Bullying Law
• Does _____ School Have A Bullying Problem?
• Teen’s Friend Describes Extent of School Bullying
• People Unite to Fight Bullying
• Parents Air Bullying Concerns

I’ve got a better headline: Forget About the Bullies

A bully can’t bully if he doesn’t have someone to push around. It’s a matter of supply and demand.

As smart phones hit the market, the demand for flip phones dramatically dwindled. The same decline can happen with bullying.

There’s so much bullying in our faces because we’re making the bully dance be all about the bullies… when that is not the case.

Bullying is not a solo. It’s a dance between two or more. A bully can’t bully if he doesn’t have anyone to push around.

Raising confident kids who aren’t intimidated by what other people say and do is the only way to make bullying go bye-bye like the flip phone.

There’s an abundance of amazing kids and brilliant people to play and work with in this world. When someone gives us a hard time, let it be a sign that this particular person is not one of them.

It’s not such a big deal when we know what to do.

Stand up.

Speak up.

Move on.

Repeat.

More by Lisa:

What To Do When Your Parenting Views Are Different From Your Friends’

How to Raise Confident Kids: 6 Simple Tips

7 Tips to Teach Children to Deal With Difficult People

Lisa Cavallaro, The Confidence Coach, is an LOA Coach with a solution-focused spin on bullying. She helps parents leverage Law of Attraction to raise kids who are self-confident and have a positive outlook toward peers, school and life. Lisa is the author of No More Drama and ADHD The Natural Way.

Confluence Daily is the one place where everything comes together. The one-stop for daily news for women.