Select Page

Month: August 2018

A White Person’s Guide to the 5 Fables that Hold White Fragility Together At the Seams

I’ve been called a racist flat out and I didn’t like it at all. The problem with that word is racism is murky. If someone called me a serial killer, that would be pretty cut and dry. Nope. There are no bodies to be uncovered. I’m not a serial killer, plain and simple. However, if someone calls me a racist, I have to sit with that and sort through my shadow places to try make sure I’m not missing something someone else sees.

In order to work our way through this, as white people, we need to let go of the myths we cling to in an effort to distance ourselves from the discomfort of an uncomfortable conversation so that we can do that sorting – preferably before someone calls you a racist.

Read More

Can Our Relationship Survive an Affair?

You can’t be in control of your own power or make empowered choices when your perceived happiness is solely dependent on the survival of a marriage or another person. I don’t know what a good enough reason to save a marriage after an affair is. All of that is intensely personal. I do know that doing it for the kids will fail and doing it because your happiness depends on it will not lead to being happy.

If you are making a decision like this in your life get honest with yourself. If you believe that if you have to save this relationship or you will be alone forever because there’s no one else or because no one else will love you, stop dead in your tracks. I’m not saying you have to end it. I am saying you need to get straight with yourself first before you proceed. Being alone is far better than being miserable together. Self-love and self-respect have to come before reconciliation and healing.

Read More

What Japanese Architecture Can Teach You About Life

In Asia, traditional buildings — even royal palaces or important Buddhist temples — don’t attract your attention the way that Il Duomo in Florence or the Notre Dame of Paris do, standing majestic and tall, poking the sky.

They blend into the background, aiming to harmonize with the surrounding mountain or sea, rather than overwhelm it.

What is more, they are built with the expectation that they will decay and return to dust. So you see a lot of wood, which twists and falls apart in time. The paint fades with rain and time.

Read More

Siri, William McRaven, China: 3 Stories You Should Read 8/17/2018

Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know. In the category of: You’re not crazy. Your Phone Is Listening and it’s Not Paranoia Here’s how I got to bottom of the ads-coinciding-with-conversations mystery. A couple of years ago, something strange happened. A friend and I were sitting at a bar, iPhones in pockets, discussing our recent trips in Japan and how we’d like to go back. The very next day, we both received pop-up ads on Facebook about cheap return flights to Tokyo. It seemed like just a spooky coincidence, but then everyone seems to have...

Read More

Spirituality Is Not An ATM Machine

Spirituality is not an ATM machine, there is no quid pro quo of, “Do this, so that you can be rewarded with that.”

If we take a dispassionate stance and observe the world around us, it becomes clear that some of us are successful, others will not be.

Read More