Saturday, May 10, 2025
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About that Boyfriend I Could Take Out in Public

Reading Time: 4 minutes If you’re looking around your life baffled by why someone else is showing up as a class one asshole, you probably don’t need to look any further than yourself for the explanation. Your self-worth is sub-par, probably really subpar. You’ve got work on you to do.

You can’t change anyone else. You can only change you.

Work on yourself.
Love on yourself.
Be with yourself tenderly.

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Informed
Confluence

Fast Company: This platform wants to fix the disturbing lack of data on police violence

Reading Time: 4 minutes In the U.S., police brutality is a known problem: all-too-numerous headlines in recent years have detailed the deaths of Philando Castile, Freddie Gray, and Mike Brown, among many others. But recent research suggests that police kill around three people per day in the U.S., and those people are disproportionately black men. Those findings, though, still fail to account for other violence and verbal and physical abuse people face at the hands of police.

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Confluence

Can we stop saying, ‘She could have been your daughter’?

Reading Time: 6 minutes The approach of this sentiment is to gain empathy or understanding from the other person by encouraging them to imagine that the rape or abuse could have happened to their female family member. People would most likely assume that by using this retort, the person might think ‘Oh gosh, yes, I would hate it if that happened to my own daughter, maybe I need to re-evaluate why I blame women and girls for rape?’

The reality is a little bit murkier than that. The reality is less optimistic and less effective than that.

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News
Confluence

NO SPIN ZONE: Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA), chair of the House Intelligence Committee Press Conference

Reading Time: < 1 minute Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA), chair of the House Intelligence Committee, is holding a press conference now in the aftermath of the Mueller report release. Attorney General William Barr spoke to the press about the report this morning, hours before it was made available to Congress and the public, but after the White House counsel’s office had been briefed by the Department of Justice, according to the New York Times. Schiff has invited Special Counsel Robert Mueller to testify before his committee. ‘After a two year investigation,’ Schiff tweeted today, ‘the public deserves the facts, not Attorney General Barr’s political spin.’

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Evolve
Cindie Chavez

Permission Granted

Reading Time: 3 minutes So often we want permission to do, be or have something and when we do not get permission (or assume that we will not) we settle for something else.  We betray our own soul in an effort to keep from disappointing someone else.

There is no shame in wanting to meet someone else’s expectations. We all do it, it feels good to have someone express that they are happy with our work, or pleased with something we’ve done, or approving of some choice we’ve made. Most of us have had a desire to be acknowledged and validated practically from the time we were born.

But when we meet other people’s expectations at the expense of fulfilling our own dreams and desires we are not truly free. We can become trapped in a web of needing approval and permission.

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Confluence

My Boyfriend Wants to try Rape Fantasy Play – I’m a Sexual Assault Survivor

Reading Time: 3 minutes Rape roleplay isn’t inherently bad or good, but I’m curious about your partner’s interest in it, and his role in it.

When children play games it’s not unusual for them to sometimes choose the “villain” role, because role play is a safe(r) way to experience something new, but it’s disconcerting and suggests a power imbalance if he pressures you to proceed with this, especially if he knows that you’ve been hurt by a rapist in real life.

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