lisa m hayes

Reading Time: 4 minutes When you know what the endgame is and you’re keeping your eye on that ball, chances are pretty high the field will start weeding itself out.

However, there are still some pretty obvious, yet easily missed red flags you should look for. Any one of these might not be a big deal – addiction being the exception. That’s always a big deal. However, two or more of these should catch your attention and give you plenty of reasons to put the breaks on.

Reading Time: 3 minutes He hasn’t cheated. He gets angry more often than seems reasonable but never gets violent. He goes to work, comes home, watches sports and mows the lawn on Saturdays. The fact that he’s indifferent to her presence, drinking a little or a lot too much in private, demanding or totally checked out in the bedroom, and developing a pretty consistent porn hobby/addiction seem minor compared to what getting divorced might mean. 

She’s in limbo, waiting for her hall pass, an excuse good enough to justify leaving, but it’s not coming. This is her purgatory and she wants to fix it. She wants to fix him. She’d do anything to fix herself because she can’t remember the last time she was happy for more than a few hours. 

Reading Time: 3 minutes At the end of our relationship, I will blame you for not making me happy. I will resent everything you do to try to make me happy. If you leave me alone I’ll resent that too. I will tell you, you’re not good enough until you believe it. I will hate myself for what I’ve become, bone dry and bitter. I don’t know how long it will take to get to the end. Maybe it will be weeks. Maybe it will be years. Maybe we will get stuck there forever, but if we do, at least we won’t be alone and I’ll have plenty of shoes.