Leave me Alone, I’m Lonely, the Venus-Uranus dilemma – or is it?
By: Janette Dalgliesh – Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know.
On 30 November, two of my favourite planets take up positions across the sky from each other, with Venus at 29 degrees of Libra (her own sign – more on that in a moment) and Uranus at 29 degrees of Aries (ruled by Mars, the lover of Venus). This is their third opposition transit since early September, as they’ve danced an astrological tango through the sky, thanks to their respective retrogrades.
When planets sit across the chart from each other in a 180-degree relationship, it’s a bit like two of King Arthur’s knights sitting across the roundtable from each other. They don’t share the same point of view at all, so they each bring their own vantage point for whatever’s going on in life. But they can see each other incredibly clearly, so it’s like an opportunity for each to offer insights on the other’s area of expertise.
That makes for some potential tension, but when you know how to use it, the tension can be a potent fuel for expansion and exploration.
Venus and Uranus are often noted for the way they have wildly different agendas.
Venus, the planet of love and values, is all about intimacy, connection, partnership and closeness.
Uranus, the planet of rebellion and change, is all about independence, freedom, autonomy and spaciousness.
Check out Pink’s song, Leave Me Alone, I’m Lonely,and you’ll get the idea.
“Go away / Give me a chance to miss you / Say goodbye / It’ll make me want to kiss you…”
But when we go to a deeper level and explore what Venus and Uranus REALLY want, we unlock how to get this potentially powerful team on board, and onside.
Venus rules relationships, beauty, desire and core values. Those are the things which help us to know who we are and what we value. I know who I am, by the things I find pleasing (beauty and desire), by the people I like to hang out with (relationship) and the things that are important to me (core values). In The Inner Planets, astrologer Liz Greene writes eloquently about the way that Venus takes a lover, not for his benefit, but for her own – and she does so in order to know who she is, as she sees herself reflected in his eyes.
She says “There is a very beautiful passage in Plato’s Phaedro, where he speaks of seeing mirrored in the face of one’s beloved a glimpse of the god to whom one’s soul belongs.”
Venus represents the way that what we genuinely love and desire becomes the mirror of our soul.
Uranus, on the other hand, seeks full self-expression, a kind of ‘my way or the highway’ drive to smash down fences and barriers imposed by other people, or even by our own old identities. The very nature of Uranus is to be different. It’s the only planet to lie on its side in relation to its path around the Sun – and even though each pole faces the Sun for half of its 84-year orbit, its equator is hotter than its poles (and nobody has yet figured out why).
You can begin to see how these two, deliberately teamed up, can support us in living a far more authentic and joyful life.
Venus, without Uranus, can become frustrated and in pain, because she knows what she wants, but is held back by the various barriers and restrictions she’s taken on board from social conditioning, the desire to please others, the need for intimacy.
Uranus, without Venus, can become the rebel without a cause, breaking everything around him for the sake of breaking free, but without purpose or direction.
But when these two planets light each other up, we are invited to tap into the Venusian insights on who we really are; and the Uranian capacity to claim that identity, that life. Venus helps gives us direction, Uranus fuels us to break free and move forward.
So how can we activate both these planets while curating the seeming dichotomy between them?
It’s about finding the and/and, rather than the either/or.
The key, for me, is the concept of unapologetic desire.
Please note, this is NOT the same as becoming an entitled asshat.
Rather, it’s about facing up boldly and unabashedly to one’s own deepest desires.
Desires do not have to be fulfilled.
I want a dog, but my wildly allergic husband of 30 years doesn’t. My desire for him outweighs my desire for owning a dog, so I make peace with a desire that gets fulfilled occasionally by other people’s dogs.
I want to sing solo, but my voice has been damaged in ways that mean I’m better singing with the support of a choir than embarking on a solo career. And I love the singing I do with my two choirs! (And I’m doing all the vocal rehab which is helping support that).
This cycle of Venus-Uranus energy may have kicked up feelings of rebellion and ‘get outta my face and let me do what I want!’ It may have kicked up realizations and epiphanies about where, in relationship especially, you have consistently sacrificed your own desires to please another. It may have kicked up difficult conversations and you weren’t even sure how that whole thing got started.
As we walk through this final Venus-Uranus exact opposition transit for 2018, the message here is clear.
Lean into the balanced Venus-in-Libra energy of grace and ease, to help approach any tension with equilibrium, inner peace, clarity and a whole lotta zen.
Lean into the fiery Uranus-in-Aries energy to fuel up awareness and clarity of your own most unapologetic desires.
It’s like Uranus light the fire which illuminates everything so that Venus can see more clearly exactly what she loves best – and therefore, who you are.
Once you know those desires, you can then move on to choose what to do about them.
For my money, that means identity shifting – aka becoming now the person who is already living with more of her desires fulfilled. For more detail on how that works, check out my obligation-free downloadable resource Identity Shifting 101.
Janette Dalgliesh has a simple mission in life – to help every person unlock their capacity for resonant joy, and live it. A keen student of astrology, brain science, chaos magic, law of attraction and positive psychology, she serves her people through astrology consults, coaching, teaching and writing. Her international clientele raves about her wildly accurate, individualized readings, but she doesn’t do general weekly predictions – for those, Janette recommends Kim Falconer (www.goodvibeastrology.com) and Mystic Medusa (www.mysticmedusa.com). Find Janette on Facebook or via her website – or you might like to pick up her free brain-rewiring resource, Identity Shift 101 here.
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