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Blend In For What?

Blend In For What?
Reading Time: 3 minutes

By: Kwavi Agbeyegbe – Confluence Daily is your daily news source for women in the know.

We want people to like us, and one of the safest ways to do that is to blend in, to be like them. Unfortunately blending in does not guarantee anything but give you permission to play small in an unauthentic way.

Can you blend in when you are the tallest girl in your 5th Grade class even if you tried?

Can you blend in when you are an 11-year old boy and have no interest in sports and everyone in your class is playing a minimum of 2 sporting activities competitively?

Can you blend in when you are an African-American girl with beautifully braided brown hair and everyone else in your class has long blonde hair?

Can you? For children, it is difficult for them to blend in, even when they really want to. The reasons they want to blend in a range from fitting into being invisible. Fitting in because they want to be liked, and being invisible because that means they won’t get noticed and that feels sooooo much better.

Fast forward to adulthood most especially midlife. Are you still trying to blend in to fit in? Unfortunately some carry that thought into adulthood even though you don’t have to,  you have the freedom to embrace your unique self.

“Oh no!, I  would really like to apply for that job, but I won’t because the salary is double what I earn currently,” I say “Why not?”.

“I would like to speak at that international conference but I’m not going to apply for the speaker position because the other speakers have been in business longer than I have.”  I say “Why not?”.

“I want to start my own business, but worry there are so many health coaches/lifestyle coaches out there?” (This was my own limiting thought for years). I said and say  “Why not?”.

Blending in does not allow you to live life to the fullest. You are living but fall short. You are alive but not experiencing life. You try not to color outside the lines or even step outside the lines.

The truth is deep down you want more for yourself.

Blending in works when you are mixing colors but not for us humans.

We are uniquely created with awesomely rich and creative talents, that need to be put out into the world for others to benefit and enjoy. You are smart,  gorgeous and talented in a unique way. Go ahead and respond to that deep desire burning inside you that you have suppressed over the years, but without fail bubbles up to the surface from time to time. 

Whatever you desire, fuel it, nurture it and grow it. Surround yourself with other like-minded individuals that encourage you, motivate you and are genuinely excited about hearing about your dreams and desires.

What are your dreams and desires? I want you to dream about what you want for yourself? Do you feel the excitement within you when you think about your goals? I know there are certain ones that make you smile with delight more than others. Those are the goals I want you to strive for. I am sure those are the ones that need to be birthed to life. When you take action on your goals, you’re able to share your gifts with the world.

What are you waiting for? Start taking steps to stand out and share your gift! The world is waiting.


I’m a Certified Weight Loss Coach + Lifestyle coach who specializes in helping bright, successful women in their 40’s and above manage their health, mindset and waistlines. I’m an advocate for body acceptance and loving yourself from the inside out. A few years ago I noticed a lot of my clients coming in with weight gain (especially around the middle) even though they had not changed their exercise or nutrition routine.

My passion is on finding ways to help women in midlife experience a new lease on life by sharing self-care practices that help them shine during this next new phase.

I provide women with powerful tools and empowering knowledge to help them take control of their bodies while learning to embrace midlife as a transition that is an amazing and fascinating journey.

If you are interested in learning more about midlife matters click here to join my list and receive a free gift.

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