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By: Lisa M. Hayes
I am going to tell you the hard, very uncomfortable, super-not-coach-like truth about getting the life you want.
Your chances of getting what you want are directly proportionate to your willingness to take the big risks and ask the big asks.
People who win are people who play – there is no way around that. If you stay in the safe zone, you are going to be living smaller than you probably want to for-fucking-ever.
However, here is the part no one wants to say out loud…
You will probably fail miserably. Statistically, it is almost inevitable.
You will hype yourself up,
shoot your best shot,
do it scared,
give it your all, and then
find yourself on your knees, looking up as your dream takes leave and wonder what the actual hell storm just happened –
and most people will stop right there. They will retreat, head down, back to the safety of who they’ve always been, and settle for what they think they can get because they tried and it failed spectacularly.
Almost no one gets there on the first try, no matter how well executed the plan was, how well-resourced the effort, or how passionately they wanted it. Almost everyone will try and fail, and their success depends on how many times they are willing to do that.
The key to success is: Learn to love your failing.
Learn to fall a thousand times and get up one thousand and one.
Learn to savor the journey for the doing, not the getting.
Learn to count your blessings and log the lessons.
Learn that life loves to watch you play the game and tends to favor the ones that show up repeatedly, bruised but wiser and ready to go
BECAUSE loving your failing is the highest form of loving yourself.
I know some uber-successful people – the kind of people who have earned more money than most countries have with happy, fulfilling lives. These people all have one thing in common: They do not see failure as a stopping point. They see failing as an opportunity to recalibrate.
These people are the ones who appear to have achieved overnight success or got an unfair share of Divine grace.
These people make winning look effortless.
These people act like they have it all and have it all together.
They are unbothered by the critics and frankly indifferent in the accolades.
They are not tethered to their disgrace.
The biggest difference between these people and most people is these people do not care how badly they fucked it up yesterday.
They don’t care what you or anyone else thinks about how they fucked it up yesterday.
These people are in today as if yesterday never existed, bolder, more committed, and brighter than before.
Risk tolerance is almost everything.
Devotion to failure is the rest.
Failure as art is brilliantly beautiful.
Blessed are those who love themselves as they fuck it up passionately without regret AND love the wreckage they leave behind, perpetually ready to start over and fail again.
There are billionaires who died on the bottom of the ocean who would have given anything to trade places with you right now.
Get over yourself, get up, get out there, and seize the day.
Lisa Hayes, The Love Whisperer, is an LOA Relationship Coach. She helps clients leverage Law of Attraction to get the relationships they dream about and build the lives they want. Lisa is the author of Score Your Soulmate and How to Escape from Relationship Hell and The Passion Plan. She is also the founder of the coach training program, The Coaching Guild.
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